So much for my recommitment to the GBOMB. I ~just published the August one, lol. Maybe I’ll get it together and retroactively write my September & October ones. It was a very weird fall.

November was insane. I feel like I haven’t stopped since September. There’s just been so much going on, lots of travel and lots of funtivities. I’m actually proud of myself, looking back, for living so much this year. I have a lot to reflect on during this last month of the year as I prepare for 2024. But for now—here’s November!

Good

• Hot girl weekend! I ran away to Las Vegas with a few girlfriends to see Tina Fey & Amy Poehler live. It was amazing and my cheeks hurt from smiling and laughing. We had so much fun getting dolled up and eating amazing food and just living like unencumbered hot girls for a weekend. It makes me so happy to come back to my mom life.
• I got to meet Neal Shusterman, get a signed copy of his new book, and hear him speak about writing! It was incredible and makes me want to listen to more author interviews.
• IRON FLAME!!! What a whirlwind. This new release was not without drama (I had to drive to Midvale to get my hands on a copy, thanks for nothing Jeff Bezos) but was so much fun. There’s nothing like a hyped-up sequel release! And I loved the book.
• Speaking of Iron Flame, I did a book retreat with some friends at an AirBnB in Midway and we spent 80% of the time just talking about Fourth Wing and Iron Flame and it was a DREAM.
• Thanksgiving! It was maybe my favorite Thanksgiving yet. Delicious, chill, and a great kickoff to the holiday season.
• MY MEDICATIONS ARE WORKING. I got a prescription for a non-SSRI (I did pharmacogenetic testing and found out SSRIs don’t work for me!!! Fun!!!) anxiety med and an ADHD med. I’m feeling like myself for the first time in over a year.
• We spent a lot of time with friends in November and it was so, SO nice. Friendsgiving, group dates, double dates. It takes work and money to make those things happen, but it’s so worth it.

Bad

• By far this has been the weirdest year for jobs for us. Tech has been hit hard by this recession, and startups (Ryan’s speciality) most especially. He’s gone through two layoffs this year, and luckily he’s always had options and irons in the fire, but the shuffling was definitely felt this month. One of my contracts has turned out to be a lot less fun than I’d hoped and I had to start winding it down this month. Ultimately a good thing, but job stuff is always disproportionately stressful.
• Unfortunately my daughters have inherited my cavity-prone teeth instead of Ryan’s perfect ones. I HATE going to the dentist. I hate paying for a mountain of dental work (and on temporary teeth?!!!).
• Loney has been halfway sick for like a month. She has been missing school here and there, complaining of earaches or her tummy or just being super tired. Stevie has had a nasty cough for weeks, but at least hasn’t been slowed down by it. I’d almost rather we just had full blown sickness for 3 days and then could move on.
• Extracurriculars for the girls. I am a doer. I am a believer in being involved in things. I want my girls to be well-rounded and have experiences outside home and school. But why is it always such a DAMN HASSLE. They say they want to do something, then complain when it’s time to go, then they want to quit, then they want to try something new. WOOF.
• I totally flopped a job interview this last week. It was book-related so I felt so excited and confident! But my nerdy ass has absolutely zero retail experience and that was so awkwardly apparent in the interview. Yikes.

On My Brain

• My professional future. I can’t say how happy I am to have quit my full time job and be back into my comfort zone of freelancing. I love the flexibility and control. Both of my current contracts are short-term, so this is about the time that I’d start putting out feelers for my next contracts or looking for a part time gig. But I just feel such a block. It feels, counter-intuitively, like I should relax and let the next thing come to me, spending time writing on my personal project.
• Remember how I was RIGHT about Tim Ballard and O.U.R.???? I was a known hater even before I left the church, let it be known. I made a joke about this scandal being my Advent Calendar, with new headlines everyday until Christmas. Little did I know how true that would be. All jokes aside, it sucks that I was right and it’s wayyyyyy worse than we even predicted. (Just google his name/O.U.R., or check out the best reporter who has been zealously covering the case as it develops.)
• Our newest nephew was blessed last week and it was so lovely. We just love that lil guy, and having nieces and nephews has been such an unexpected joy in my life. It was also the first time we showed up to a Mormon/religious thing since leaving the church, so I was a little worried it would feel awkward or something? But it truly wasn’t at all. It changes nothing, other than Ryan not standing in the circle. It was so nice to love on our Pal, and also nice to feel very secure in that enormous choice we made.
• I have changed SO MUCH this year. I have tried so many new things. I have done brave things, had hard conversations, burned bridges that needed to be burned, and shed some of the weight of other people’s opinions this year. I know it hasn’t been popular with everyone in my life, but this month in particular I noticed that I truly belong to myself more than I ever have. I think 16 year old Danica would be horrified by some of the features of my life right now (LOL) but she’d be so relieved at the level of personal peace I’ve been building.
• How much time away from family is too much time? From the end of September through the week before Thanksgiving I had 4 weekends away from my husband and kids. It was definitely too much. Each trip was so fun and meaningful, don’t get me wrong. It was just a lot of time away! I had so much mom guilt! Ryan is incredible and I’m so grateful for him and my nanny and my family who all helped. I definitely need to say yes to less, but I also need to continue designing my life in a way that I’m not as eager to escape.

Last December was… rough. Everything was rough. It was genuinely one of the worst months of my adult life. From job stress, faith crisis earthquakes during a religious holiday month, Reese’s issues really coming to a head, Ryan being laid off, scrambling to travel for work after having to fire a bad nanny, and daily panic attacks—I do not wish my 2022 December on anyone.

This December already feels completely opposite. I feel optimistic, happy, excited, and festive as hell. We have so many fun plans and I can feel the easy comparison to last year underscoring how far we’ve all come this year. I’m just feeling so grateful. <3 Wishing everyone the best holiday month ever!