We went 90 miles an hour for the entire month and it absolutely disappeared on me. As I reflect on it, I think it really showcases my word of the year—STORY. Some big plot twists, rising action, and reveals. There were times it was scary, but I am in happy awe of how it all shook (and is shaking) out.

Good

• The response to our “coming out” as Ex-Mormon was absolutely incredible. The waves of love and support and understanding we felt… it still brings tears to my eyes.
• The relief I feel from that announcement also deserves its own bullet. I should probably examine why I feel the need to share things (it truly feels like unbuttoning tight pants at the end of the day) but suffice it to say—I feel SO MUCH BETTER.
• Our family reunion/birthday trip for my dad’s 60th was absolute heaven. We basically spent 10 hours in the pool every day.
• As part of that trip we checked another MLB stadium off our bucket list with a Diamondbacks game!
• We love celebrating Pride. So many people that I love (but most importantly to me, my brother) have lived huge parts of their lives in dark, dark shame. I absolutely love celebrating a vibrant and lovely group of people who deserve to be celebrated.
• I got a very cool opportunity to be involved with A Bolder Way Forward, which is an initiative to advance the opportunities and equality of Utah’s women + girls. I’m so excited about it!

Bad

• We were reallllllllll loose with the spending this month. We had a fantastic vacation and did lots of fun things. But now I have to actually go log it all and chill out on my useless spending. Cubby’s will miss me.
• Work has been a very significant challenge. I’ve gone back and forth about my professional career for the last couple of years. This month was facing the music that this is not what I want right now—from the scheduling, the type of work, the environment, the vibes. It’s hard to live in toxic situations caused by others. And it’s hard to live knowing you ignored intuition and red flags that allowed everything to get worse for everyone.
• Due to the aforementioned work situation, I’ve been a less-than-stellar mom. Lots of screen time. Canceling plans I’d made for us. Being very short and irritable with them. It truly underscored all of my parenting weaknesses.
• I fired my therapist lol. It wasn’t a good fit. And she ghosted one of our appointments.

On My Brain

• June was my month to host book club, and we read Quit by Annie Duke. It was FASCINATING and I’ve not stopped thinking about it. We are so obsessed with persistence in our society. We reward sticking with something, which is fine, but it often comes with very weak quitting skills. But winners know when to quit! I’ve been thinking a lot about how I can better identify the unique indicators that I’d be better off using my energy/resources elsewhere. Books I stick with even when I’m not loving them. How long it took me to leave the church even though I was miserable. Habits and routines that aren’t being analyzed for effect.
• I really, truly feel like a different person. Between deconstruction, ketamine, some key self-help books, publicly leaving the church, and being forced to grow through some challenges at work… I don’t think Danica from a few years ago would even recognize me. But she would be so, SO proud. Confused lol. But so proud. Because I am so much less afraid. I didn’t realize how scared I was, living every single day.
• I’m always on my feminist marriage BS, but this month there was even more content than usual. There’s a lot of discussion around no-fault divorces, and a fresh conservative push to outlaw them (spoiler: I HARD disagree and think divorce should be accessible, especially for women). I really loved this discussion about women working outside the home, particularly for long enough before having kids that they aren’t trapped in or out of the marriage. I’ve always believed that, but have never realized how dramatic the financial impact can be on your family if the wife doesn’t have the opportunity to string together 3-5 years of work in their desired field.

We’ve already had so much fun just in this first week of July! Our July plans include going to the pool as much as possible, a short anniversary getaway, SEEING BARBIE, and preparing for our family vacation to Tennessee next month!