Whew what a month. I’m always sad when October ends because it’s objectively the best month of the year and always seems to go too fast. With settling into our home and routines and preparing for my surgery I feel like I didn’t quite take full advantage of the October offerings. I didn’t take my kids to a pumpkin patch. I didn’t hike or drive to see the leaves. I only made one pumpkin baked treat!!!!! I didn’t even dress up for Halloween and my girls just wore costumes we had. It feels like sacrilege.

I had to keep reminding myself—it’s ok. Not every year has to be turned up to 11. You can enjoy a season without breathing it every second. It’s ok that this year was about rest and preparation. There are years for raging Halloweens and years for watching Hocus Pocus and calling it good.

I’m 31, I no longer have a uterus, and I seriously feel like a whole new woman. So, thanks, October.

Good

• Reese made a lot of great makeup tutorials. Tune in if you want to see what she can do with an outer corner.
• Stevie has become SO FUN. She yells MAMAMAMA and just learned to clap and is crawling everywhere.
• My mom took my kids for 3 days for my surgery, which allowed me to rest and the girls had the best time. We’re so lucky to have them close.
• Nearly everyone has recovered from COVID. Ryan’s grandpa is home and though his grandma isn’t doing well she has stabilized and has left the hospital for a care center.
• I got a lot of great reading done this month, especially post-op.
• I feel SO GOOD. Seriously it’s like my uterus really was cursed and by removing it the curse has lifted.
• Our basement is nearly finished! Some of the floors are done, trim is done, appliances wait ready in our garage. If you know anyone looking for a 1 bedroom basement apartment in the best part of Orem HMU.
• We had some good postseason baseball to enjoy! It hurt Ryan’s soul to watch Mookie Betts play so well for a team that isn’t the Red Sox, and this was such a weird year, but still. We love some baseball.
• The girls started tumbling and gymnastics! It’s so good for them—especially Reese who was suddenly really insecure about her abilities and age in the class. It allowed us the chance to have a lot of good discussions and practice resilience.

Bad

• Loney ate 30 chewable Tylenol. The blister pack “child-proof” kind. But apparently it isn’t raccoon-proof and I’m a stupid mom. I felt awful and mad and sad and frustrated, but she was fine. We took her into the hospital and they gave her a 24 hour round of antidote that protects her liver from the overdose. She was a champ.
• I had to quarantine for my birthday. I had to take a COVID test the day before and quarantine until my surgery 3 day slater. It wasn’t a huge deal because coronavirus has ruined everything and my birthday was a Sunday anyway, but still meh.
• Remember when all of a sudden it was like 30 degrees.
• I can’t take a bath for 2 weeks and it’s a serious cramp in my lifestyle.

On My Brain

• I am so hopeful that this week will bring an end to the vitriol, but Ryan keeps asserting that it won’t. I’ve been largely checked out of the election drama but I truly have no more to give. And if one more person plays the “CHECKING OUT IS PRIVILEGE” I’m gonna lose my mind.
• After reading Welcome Home by Myquillyn Smith I’m thinking more intentionally about the seasons, the holidays, hosting, and decorations for this holiday season. I moved like 25 bins of holiday-specific decor. Is that necessary? Her method is about welcoming the colors and rhythms and feels of each season, then just a few touches of the holiday that you love. What if I just let Christmas be easy this year?
• I know I’m biased, but I truly think it’s insane that Disneyland can’t open. Florida has proven they can do it safely and save jobs/the local economy. Even with Ryan’s grandparents struggling and the numbers rising, I’m leaning more and more toward returning to normal life. There’s only so much we can do, and at some point we have to accept that the damage we’re doing is significant—economically, psychologically, emotionally, socially. I haven’t hugged my grandma since January. I want her to be safe but what if loneliness kills her because we didn’t want COVID to get the chance?
• Ryan found this personality test which shows the characters you’re most like/unlike. I am shocked that Leslie Knope and Hermione Granger weren’t my #1 but honestly it was pretty spot on.
• I can’t stop thinking about 2021. The holiday season is upon us and it goes so fast. Plus my cursed uterus is gone, so I’m suddenly facing a future where I can exercise, wear normal clothes, sleep fewer than 12 hours a day, and just generally feel like myself again. I’m psyched.
• 

I left November wide open, anticipating a long and arduous recovery. Knock on wood, but I am feeling 100 emoji so my recovery is basically done. Hopefully I can get cleared for exercise and normal activity/lifting soon. November is usually a pretty boring month but my husband set up our new Christmas tree today (lol) so maybe this year will be more interesting. 🙂