It was quiet and peaceful. Loney was napping in her room. Stevie slobbering in her bumbo. Reese next to me doing her online reading program. I’m trying to focus on a recent request for editing from the product team.

“What if Loney opened that window again?”

There was no reason to think or predict that. We figured out that she knew how to open her window a few weeks ago and ordered a childproof lock. In fact, the UPS guy had delivered it just an hour or two earlier. The package was sitting on the stairs.

Gotta get this done. Focus. Expense management software.

“But maybe she did.”

Nah. It’s silent.

“Danica. Go NOW.”

It wiped across my brain, sweeping aside the clutter of the present moment.

I stood and I ran.

Half certain I’d find her asleep. Half terrified I’d see her ankles disappearing from the sill.

She was standing on her toybox, under the shade, leaning against the screen to see if her next door neighbor bestie was in her backyard.

I gathered her, pulled her into my lap on the floor, her face going from happy to sheepishly caught to worried about how much trouble she was in once she saw my face.

After a short lecture and pinky-promise that she won’t touch windows again, I tucked her in for the nap she should have been taking, then walked downstairs cold and shaking.

What if I’d ignored in the name of productivity, which I often do?

What if I’d just gone to the bathroom first?

What if I’d been smart and ordered the lock earlier? Put it on earlier?

What if it was just a lesson? Just a test? God tryna tell me to stop being so lazy and hands off and worried about a hundred million things.

I don’t know. I really don’t. But I know what happened in my mind and heart yesterday.

I know that in that moment God tried a few nudges and then a shove. I was an instrument that wasn’t very sharp and wasn’t perfectly in tune. He’s the Master, though, and He found a way to use me.

Because it isn’t about me. It wasn’t. It was about someone He gave me and who needed me, right then.

In 30 years I’ve felt the spirit. I’ve felt His presence. I’ve heard messages I knew were specific for me. Yet, I’ve never had an experience quite like this one.

“I will make an instrument of thee in my hands unto the salvation of many souls.” Alma 17:11

I understand now what it means to be an instrument, and the necessity to stay in tune and ready for Him. I’ve got work to do.