I’m bringin back the GBOMB! I actually really missed these. I think they brought a lot of reflection and mindfulness into each month. Plus it’s important to be intentionally grateful and to remember the good things that happened, since often the negative takes up more space in our brains. I think it also provides a fantastic way to take stock of my year – I have monthly recaps that feature everything worth noting.

This was a wild month. We rang in 2020 with a quiet, relaxing trip to St. George, and now I’m closing it out with a new job, new nanny, landing in the third trimester, and a 50% increase in plans for the new year than I had at the start of January. Life comes at you fast.

Good

• The overwhelming thing in my life right now/this whole month is this new job at Divvy! I did phone interviews the week before Christmas, went in for an onsite interview the first week in January, and started January 21st! I want to share more about the job and the company and all the cool stuff, but suffice it to say here that I’m doing all types of writing and content for the marketing team, I work two days a week in office and a handful of hours from home, and I’m over the moon about this. Feeling so pumped and lucky.
• FRUIT 2020 has already proven to be totally inspired. It’s manifested itself countless time in this first month, personally, spiritually, professionally, just all over the place. That’s good, for sure.
• I did cardio, you guys. CARDIO.
• I nested the H*LL out of my house. My main focus for January was my house. I initiated a “No Pile Challenge” where I eliminated all the random piles around my home. DI piles, these-go-somewhere-else piles, to-be-spot-treated piles, need-a-home piles, trash piles, recycling piles, all. the. piles. I still have a couple to eliminate before welcoming February on Saturday, but it has felt SO FREAKING GOOD.
• My best friend had her baby! He’s a perfect little boy who has stolen our hearts and I watch videos and Marco Polos of him every time pregnancy gets miserable (read: constantly).
• I planned and conducted a Children & Youth Program Kickoff in my ward! I still feel very lost and intimidated most of the time with this calling but that at least went well.
• Our backyard is FINALLY fenced and gated! This meant when the girls wanted to play in the snow I could just sent them out there while I read at the kitchen table, warm and not outside. This is only gonna get better as the weather improves, hallellujah.
• Me and Ryan got two (2!) legit date nights this month. Even just a dinner without kids makes the biggest difference, so I’m glad we took the opportunities when we had them.
• I created the BEST rhythm for Come Follow Me study and I’ve actually been loving that I blog a response to it each week because it helps me approach with a purpose and a more critical eye. I’ll share soon all the stuff I’m doing that’s working for me.
• Read great books: Finished Return of the King to close out my first ever read of LOTR, Conviction (a fiction story about a woman who is drawn into a true crime podcast – couldn’t put it down, Digital Minimalism for a nice New Year perspective, The Home Edit for my nesting jones, and I’m currently reading Goose Girl and listening to The Whisper Network.

Bad

• I know it’s natural for the girls to need an adjustment period. We went from 24/7 to having two full days a week where they don’t see me until 5:30 pm. It’s not that it’s a wrong decision for me, them, or our family. It’s not the nanny (we’re obsessed with her). It’s just an adjustment. Someone please remind me that it’s ok that they’re a little more defiant/clingy/fussy/emotional/nuts while we navigate this transition.
• I drank ~some water this month, but it for sure was not even close to enough.
• I ran out of heartburn pills and thought “You know? I’m probably ok to not take them.” *narrator* “She was NOT ok to not take them.”
• While we’re on the subject of pregnancy, remember how it gives you both extreme exhaustion AND insomnia? Coolcoolcoolcoolcool
• Once again, Ryan is vetoing the name Minerva even though it’s HP, Disney, AND a confirmed family name.
• I have recently discovered the condition of “precipitous labor” and now I have a new #1 fear (I’ve had Braxton Hicks since like 18 weeks and both my girls went 2-10 in under 3 hours so if this baby decides to come on her own… help)

On My Brain

• I binged the entirety of the Something Was Wrong podcast in under a week, I think. Season One I did in under two days. Could. Not. Stop. It has me thinking so much about narcissism and sociopaths and when something is legal but terrible. Please listen and then text me about it.
• Similarly, I watched the Aaron Hernandez documentary on Netflix and thought a lot about the awful helicopter crash that claimed the lives of Kobe Bryant, his daughter, and others. The complexity of humans is so interesting and unsettling at times. Watching Aaron Hernandez with his daughter or talking about loving the Harry Potter books in prison, but then hearing about multiple murders? Mourning the loss of an absolute legend of an athlete, also an adorable father, who did some not-so-great things, too. This temporal life we live is so muddy, so much gray area. I’m still learning how to navigate it with compassion.
• Disneyland! How financially responsible we want to be will determine when we actually go this year, but you bet your bottom dollar it’s happening.
• I truly think I treat Loney like way more a baby than I treated Reese at the same age. It’s probably not the end of the world, but like… justice is a value of mine. I still carry memories of injustice (or perceived injustice) from my childhood. I care a lot about making things equal, fair, and equitable. And I’m about to throw in a baby grenade as another variable.
• I am cut out to have a job. I just am. It’s been so abundantly clear to me as I got and started this job. As fun and free as the SAHM life is, I just do so much better with structure and outside purpose and accountability. It’s weird. I feel like I have MORE time and MORE energy? Idk.

It’s so strange that I keep thinking spring and baby girl are so close, when in reality they’re both like 2+ months away technically. February should be a lot of fast fun, though. My focus is my family. The girls are turning 5 and 3, Valentine’s means some quality time with Ryan, and I’ll be digging deep into my new job and the routines it has brought for my family. I have some fun creative goals and interesting books on the plan and can’t wait to see what the second month of 2020 brings me, because this first month has NOT disappointed.