Even with July being an insane month I’ve been able to keep reading through it. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – reading is my therapy. In a low moment my boss mother-in-law kindly suggested that I set aside the nonfiction self-help books and be ok with myself. It was advice I needed to hear. I wrapped up the last self-help I was reading (Crucial Conversations) and returned the other self-help books I had. I’m focusing on uplifting nonfiction and immersive fiction for the next little while! It feels good to take a break from trying to improve every tiny feature of myself. <3

Educated

Tara Westover was born to survivalist, hard core religious parents in a remote area of Idaho. Her parents were suspicious of the government, the Illuminati, socialists, modern medicine, and more. Therefore, she and her siblings did not attend public school and grew up working in scrap yards with their erratic father. She endured ignorance, abuse, sexism, and constant confusion, but despite it all she educated herself well enough to pass the ACT and get into Brigham Young University. There she found herself in a world entirely unknown to her, and unable to reconcile her past and her future.

This book was absolutely gripping. It’s been a popular bestseller and for good reason – you never know what’s going to happen. Her writing is beautiful and her storytelling vibrant. She illustrates a life many of us can’t even begin to imagine. I was especially surprised at the turn her story takes once she begins to distance herself from her family, because the psychological impact was staggering.

Good

• Her writing is so clear and punchy. I loved it.
• This book is very similar to The Glass Castle, and not just because of the traumatic upbringing. She finds ways to bring happy, inspiring, bright moments out of a chapter of darkness.
• I was concerned about how she might approach religion, since her family was ~technically Mormon and the father abused his religious authority to subjugate the family. But she did an incredible job. She shares factually what she learned and how different it was from what other people were doing in her church and at BYU. She later leaves the faith but is never disrespectful or anti- anything. No Mormon bashing.
• As a public school teacher it broke my heart but also reaffirmed what I know about the power of knowledge and education.
• I didn’t expect this book to cover this many complex issues. Racism, sexism, abusive family dynamics, integrity, modesty, independence, love.
• I personally loved the gore. Her father didn’t believe in modern medicine or hospitals, and he was incredibly reckless so there are a ton of injuries that they treat with herbs and essential oils and stuff. It’s wild.

Less Good

• I would have loved more of her experience assimilating at BYU.
• She talks a little bit about others’ opinions and versions of the story, like her brother’s girlfriend, extended family members, etc. I think she would have presented a more complete work had she talked to a few more people to include their perspective, especially toward the end where she’s trying to determine what was actually real.
• It took me a minute to get into it. I wish she would have jumped in a little quicker.

Recommendation: if you love memoirs, if you loved The Glass Castle, if you like reading about crazy lives you could never imagine.

Nurture Shock

Research scientists & journalists Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman put common nurturing assumptions to the test by compiling and analyzing the results of countless scientific studies from around the world. They tackle trends and concerns that we thought had simple answers with more complex and sometimes counter-intuitive findings. They cover nurturing topics like the best ways to boost your child’s language abilities, what’s actually making new generations more obese, why teens lie, and more. 

A couple of my most favorite mom friends have suggested this book but I wasn’t really sure what to expect. It’s not a parenting manual, but it does offer some real, research-based routes to take as we raise, teach, and nurture children. And it’s just fascinating!

Good

• This book is all over the place and I mean that in the best way. The chapter about sleep gets into obesity, addictions, academic performance, and medical conditions. Each chapter tackles a different topic, but thoroughly connects that topic with surrounding fields and additional implications.
• Despite being driven by research, it’s surprisingly readable. The writing style is smooth and straightforward.
• I read it on ebook, and it was an easy thing to jump in and out of while waiting in a waiting room or trying to fall asleep. I think it would make a great audiobook read too.

Less Good

• They talk a lot of trash on the “modern” parent.
• A few of the chapters got a little stale with study after study, but it was easy to identify and skip ahead.
• I wish they ended each chapter with concrete examples of how to improve parenting.

Recommendation: Anyone who enjoys social science and psychology, and anyone who raises or nurtures children.

Crucial Conversations

Crucial conversations are the ones we don’t like having, the ones that never seem to turn out like we planned, or the way we want. Is it even possible to have constructive, peaceful conversations about tough topics without losing our cool – or the relationship? With this book – yes. 

This book came recommended by several people and I knew at once it was one I absolutely needed to read. I’ve never been good at conflict, speaking directly, saying tough things, or even staying present in an emotional conversation. As I’ve worked through therapy this last year I have made huge strides in communication and realizing my own right to feelings and opinions. This came at the perfect time in my life and was SO HELPFUL.

Good

• The imagery of a conversation being a shared pool of knowledge and that there needs to be a free exchange of information being added to the pool? Huge!
• After reading Braving the Wilderness I’ve been practicing rejecting “either/or” polar choices, and I loved that this book urged the same. Reject the idea that you have to either shut up or hurt feelings. There are solutions. There are ways of talking.
• They give examples from personal relationships, coworkers, bosses, sensitive family issues, and more. They’re careful to make everything applicable.

Less Good

• I wish they had spent more time explaining exactly what it means to “stay safe” in a conversation and ways to protect safety. I intuitively get what it means but it’s so hard to know what that means for other people.

Recommendation: If you feel like it’s impossible to have tough conversations or communicate with difficult people. If you’re in a management or decision-making position, or if you just want to learn how to communicate better.

Friction

A Texas Ranger with a controversial past is fighting for custody of his young daughter – custody he lost after falling into drunken grief at the death of his wife. During his custody hearing a masked gunman bursts into the courtroom and begins firing shots. Crawford Hunt and local police apprehend the shooter on the roof, but then far too many unanswered questions blow the case wide open. Was the shooter attempting to assassinate Judge Holly Spencer? Was she going to award Hunt custody before he saved her life during the shooting? How can they work together to solve the mystery when even the police seem dangerous? 

This was an impulse audiobook download one day when I had a lot of cleaning and driving to do, and it totally delivered. Sandra Brown writes a good thriller that hits a lot of important requirements: character development, mystery, fear, sexual tension, and surprise. You’re not reading award-winning fiction, but it’ll keep you entertained.

Good

• It’s always a good sign when I find myself looking for opportunities to listen. My house was sure clean.
• She writes a pretty good romance with steamy scenes that aren’t over-the-top.

Less Good

• She is not great with dialogue. It often feels very fake and trite.
• This one didn’t have any twists, really. The twists that were there were pretty tame and predictable.

Recommendation: Great for a binge read, audiobook listen, and to buy in an airport for commitment-free, low-stakes entertainment.

Being Enough

Chieko Okazaki uses Being Enough to convince you that you, right now, as you are, are enough. You have enough, you do enough, you. are. enough. She uses the scriptures, words of the prophets, and her signature hilarious and heartwarming anecdotes to illustrate principles of the gospel to help you know who you are and what you are worth. 

UGH I LOVED IT SO MUCH. I read Lighten Up last year at a low point in my life and true to its title it flooded my darkness with sparkling light. She is just so fresh. So breezy. So real. So clear. This book is even better. I quoted it in two Relief Society lessons and a sacrament meeting talk. And I WILL NOT STOP.

Good

• I mean. All of it. Every page and word? It’s just so optimistic. It’s the most uplifting pep talk you could ever hope for.
• She leaves you no room for excuses or justification. Yep, people will be mean or judgmental. But you still choose to love Christ and do your best. Choose to belong, don’t wait for the rest of the world to include you or stop judging or notice your worth.
• She’s real about her own struggles and hard things that she’s dealt with. At the same time she is not even a little bit prideful. She is just so genuine.
• This feels so timely, and like it was written today, right now, for us. She was absolutely listening to the spirit to share truths we would need.

Less Good

• I honestly have nothing bad to say. Literally nothing.

Recommendation: Everyone who needs a lift or wants to fall in love with the gospel again. This would make an excellent gift for someone going through something difficult, and everyone who deals with depression, anxiety, perfectionism, or feeling like you don’t measure up.

I’m currently reading My Plain Jane, Mother’s Milk, and Bel Canto. On deck I have The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, Intuitive Eating, A Gentleman in Moscow, The Girl With All the Gifts, and The Breakdown lol lol.