Whew. I survived July. I know that sounds dramatic but seriously there were moments that I didn’t know if I would make it out or if I would have to throw me and my kids and Ryan and my Office DVD sets in the car and just start driving. I was hit with a surprising new role and I’ve been trying my best to find some balance.

Before you get too excited – nope, it’s not baby #3. That would be fun. At the beginning of this month my ward split. Aaaaaaaaaaaaand I was called to be the Relief Society President. If you’re unfamiliar with LDS congregations this basically means I’m the leader responsible for all of the adult (18+) women in my ward boundaries.

If you’re thinking “uhhhh what? Her?” You’re not alone, because I was thinking the same thing. Surely I’m getting punk’d. Where’s Ashton????? But alas. It’s 4realz. I have so much to say and share about this, but I won’t do that here. Suffice it to say that this has been a surprise and it has rocked my world. I’m a little overwhelmed but I’m happy and excited to serve.

I was sustained on July 1st, so this new calling kind of dominated my month. I’m really super proud of myself for letting go of all the expectations and goals that I had for July to just focus on what was at hand and clutching at my sanity. lol It was a huge month for me and I already feel like I’ve grown leagues in just a short 31 days.

Good

• Ryan and I celebrated our 7th Anniversary in Salt Lake and Park City. It was definitely the highlight of the month. I needed that getaway so bad! We shopped and ate and saw Phantom of the Opera (!!!!) and man it was just amazing. I loved it.
• Loney has started saying a bunch more words this month. I’m putting it here because it actually makes me kind of sad how big she’s getting but I’m determined to be proud and happy.
• I feel like my testimony has expanded into regions I didn’t know existed. Honestly in the last 31 days I have experienced and felt and learned more. It’s been incredible.
• I used the new calling as an excuse to buy several new dresses.
• Ryan took Reese on a daddy daughter date to see Incredibles 2 and she has not stopped talking about it.
• Our neighborhood had our first party for the 24th and it was SO MUCH FUN. There were a billion kids running around, good food, and fireworks. I feel so lucky to be living here.
• I had been feeling like it was time to go back to the gym and it has been so great! I love lifting weights.

Bad

• The learning curve has been more like a learning cliff. It’s been hard for a perfectionist like me but it’s been very good practice for implementing what I’ve been learning in therapy this last year.
• I’m closing out the month with strep. Ryan got it first and then I fell to it. booooo
• I didn’t do anything cool for Harry’s birthday and it makes me feel so bummed. It used to be one of my favorite days of the year and for the last few years I haven’t done anything. 🙁
• One day I will learn to not deal with my stress by compulsively raiding every clearance section I can find, but it wasn’t this time.
• I am so freaking over summer I am over it. It’s too hot. It’s been muggy. It takes too much energy to do A N Y T H I N G. I will continue to whine about this until the temp drops below 80 degrees.

On My Brain

• Learning to follow my own compass. I’ve been a rule-follower, handbook-hugger. I like to lead but I’m also terrified of screwing up. Having to call shots that people might not like is so uncomfortable for me, but trying to line up with some vague outline of what a president should do/say/be like is even worse. I’m really working on listening to myself, trusting myself.
• Wow MLM slamming is now a recurring feature of my GBOMBs but this article had me CRYING. (language warning)

My heart has been all a-flutter with Back-to-School displays popping up!!! We’ll see if we make it to another pool or splash pad before school starts, but I won’t be heartbroken if we don’t. I’m very excited to get back into a routine – especially reestablishing a morning routine.

Now that I’m ~slightly more adjusted to this calling I’m hoping that I can ease out of this radio silence and get back to posting way too much about my life on the internet.