Therapy isn’t for everyone. Medication isn’t for everyone. But you know what is for everyone? Mental health.

It’s not a box you check. Yes – healthy, No – mental illness. It’s a spectrum, and we travel along it. Just like with our physical health!

I’m willing to bet that you have some awareness and feelings about your physical health right now, at this very moment. If I asked, you could probably give me a few things off the top of your head. Mine would go like this:

“Well I still need to lose like 4 pounds to get to my pre-pregnancy weight, but I’d like to lose another 10 on top of that. I can tell I’m out of shape because I ran up the stairs yesterday and almost died. I’m coming off a cold and should probably get some good rest tonight. And my lips are cracked because I’m dehydrated so I will try to drink some water before my next Diet Coke.”

Physical health is more visual and demanding. It’s also more respected. Pick up a magazine and it’s obvious how much we value and even glamorize our physical health. And honestly you should probably start doing the exact same thing to your mental health (unless you have awful body image and beat yourself up. Don’t do that to your body OR brain).

I have learned SO MUCH about mental health throughout this whole journey. I’ve tried a lot of things. I did my very best to treat myself, to treat my mental illness, even before I had acknowledged that I *had* mental illness and definitely after. There is a lot you can do, independent of therapy and medication. I’ve found that self-care/treatment can ease symptoms and keep mental health in check, work in conjunction with medication, and just make you feel better.

For the hundredth time, I’d like to remind everyone that I’m not a doctor or a therapist or an expert of any kind. This is just what I found and tried and enjoyed. The biggest thing I would say is to pay attention to what feels good and what doesn’t. Think outside the box and stop doing the same old crap that isn’t working for you.

My Self-Care and Treatment Plan

Sleep: I found that I was oversleeping as a way to cope with my anxiety and “take care of myself” but it was actually screwing me up. I was groggy, headachy, and more tired. Instead, I found that I need about 6-7 hours to feel great, so I shoot for that and when I get up between 6-7 hours the day is so much better.

Exercise: Exercise helped tire me out so my brain was less able to punk me. Plus I slept better. I changed the way I work out to be more soft and loving to my body. Cheesy as it sounds, I pay more attention to how my body feels when working out and stop when she’s strained or in pain. I also try to speak body positive when I work out, thanking my body, and I always take time to cool down and stretch lovingly. CHEESY. But it’s working.

Scheduling: I’m in a really good place right now where I am resisting plans. LOL. Minimize the stuff you HAVE to do and you’re minimizing the potential stress. I’ve found having 1-2 days a week with NOTHING scheduled has made a huge difference. Breathing room, folks.

Reading: I talked about this a little bit in my last book review post, but reading daily is a huge part of my self-care/treatment plan. It’s something that I enjoy that also can’t be undone. I had to give myself permission to do it every day, even when I have chores and work and crap to do. But man does it make me feel good.

Affirmations: I talk to myself all day long, so why not turn it from negative to positive? You’ll feel weird saying this crap into a mirror – but it’s not crap. It’s true! You ARE loved. You ARE awesome. You ARE worthy. Pick your own phrases and start saying them! Make them your phone wallpaper. Mindful Counseling is doing affirmation challenges so you can follow her and search the hashtag #2weekaffirmationchallenge.

Alone Time: I think this is especially important for moms. I often started my day when my girls woke up and put them down when I was ready for bed. I’ve found that purposefully utilizing time before they are awake and after they’re asleep to read, get my work done, and just be alone and zen for a little bit really puts me in a good mindset about the day ahead. It’s well worth waking up earlier, I promise.

Body Scan: This took a lot of practice in mindfulness, but it’s something you can do anytime, anywhere. I have learned how to “check in” with my body and brain to see how I’m doing. A big part of my self-treatment has been learning to acknowledge days where my brain just can’t do it, and to pull back.

Painting My Nails: Ugh it just makes me feel so good, like I have my life together. And it’s a good slow, mindful practice. It’s dumb but I swear it improves my mental health.

Get Outside: You tend to hear this a lot, but it’s because it works. Get ya booty outside, folks. Even if it’s just sitting on your front porch. Ideally go on a canyon walk or hike. Even a mountain drive will do in a pinch if you open your windows or get out for just a quick park. I’m telling you. It works.

Talk It Out: Classic Brene Brown. When you speak it, it loses it’s power over you. Tell soemone you’re struggling. Say “Yeah I feel depressed and worthless today. But I’m still gonna do the laundry and then I’ll watch a whole season of the Office and It’s All OK.” Speak it. Own it.

The Office: It is truly a balm for the wounded soul. And I’m kind of kidding here. The point I’m trying to make is that turning to something you love can be medicine. I’m thinking about rereading Harry Potter again. Stuff like that.

Journaling: Along with talking it out, journaling was a good way to get out of my own head and discover some patterns. The journal I’ve used this last year will be a treasure for my lifetime, because I’ve consistently written about my struggle, victories and defeats. It’s helped so much.

Stop Beating Yourself With The Bible: Like any good Mormon girl, I turned to scriptures, prayer, church activity, and general spiritual improvement to “fix” myself. Surely if I read one more conference talk or just be more faithful then I won’t feel like this, right? Now. I believe having God as part of my treatment plan is absolutely vital. I believe in the Atonement. I believe in the true power of healing and miracles. I do. But deciding to listen to conference talks or re-read the Book of Mormon doesn’t heal illness in your brain. Please don’t tell yourself that you’re just not living as perfectly as you should be, or that depression is a result of sin, or any of the things religious people often use to beat themselves up. God knows what’s going on with your brain chemistry and hormones. He knows. He loves you and wants you to be happy. He never wanted scripture study or prayer or activity to be a whip with which to punish ourselves back to righteous happiness. Turn to your faith, but don’t beat yourself with it. And remember that faith, therapy, and medication all work well together. God created them all – for our benefit.

PILLLS BABY!: That’s a Jean-Ralphio quote, and I’m not encouraging you to be a drug addict, obviously. But there are things you can take to improve how you feel. I’ve been on Zoloft for two weeks now, but if you want to do it without medication you still have options. If you’re not taking a multivitamin, I along with most doctors recommend it. A lot of people have vitamin deficiencies that aren’t causing mental illness, but are still causing some small physical issues. Take a non-habit-forming sleeping pill if you have trouble falling and staying asleep. Take cold medication when you’re sick and pain pills when you have a headache, soreness or injury. One weird thing I noticed is that when I mentally wasn’t feeling great I would tend to just wallow or “take it” with physical stuff too. Like I deserved it, or something? Idk. That’s dumb. Our bodies are important and our comfort is worth it. Take care of your body and minimize your pain. Ice your injuries. Rest. Go see a doctor when you’re sick or hurt. It’s easier to handle mental illness if your body is feeling ok.

Yoga: Cliche? Maybe. But d*mn if it doesn’t help. I highly recommend Yoga with Adriene (free on YouTube!!!!). There’s just a lot of self-love, acceptance, going slow, and mindfulness. I have not been great at establishing a regular yoga routine but the days I do it I feel amazing and crave it every day after. It’s a goal for May.

Let People Help You: This is SO HARD. But if you have mental illness you simply can’t do life without other people. Trust them. Give them the gift of serving you and accept it with gratitude. Talk to your spouse about household responsibilities that are weighing on you – Ryan started cooking more and we’re all happier LOL. Get babysitting! Trade with someone if it’s not financially possible to pay for babysitters. When people ask how you are doing, be brave. Tell them you’re struggling. You’re terrified about what they’ll think, I know. But I’m willing to bet that 9/10 times they will help you feel heard and loved and give you the help you need in that moment.

Clean: My mental illness spikes with the clutter and spilled baby food. My brain is happier with a clean house. Who knew??????

Rethink Your Life: That thing you’ve always done? Why? Do I have to do this? Can someone else do this? Is there an easier way to do this? Why do I dread this thing? Start asking a lot of questions about what you’re doing and why. I ended up stripping away a ton of things that I thought I needed to do but it was like… what happens if I don’t do this?????

Self-care is something I’m still figuring out. I think it’s different for everyone, and evolves at different stages. It’s been so so cool to see how much my choices and lifestyle can affect my mental illness.

You may find, like I did, that these things only go so far if there’s something in your brain that is determined to poison you. And that’s when you turn to therapy or medicine or both. They work SO WELL with all the things listed above, and any other self-care things you do. But I think self-care is definitely the place to start.