This month was crazy but luckily I had planned for it to be much crazier. For some reason it takes like a year to come back from vacation. This was the fastest return we ever had – I had all of the laundry washed and put away, completely unpacked 24 hours after returning. But physically it was much harder to come back. I feel like we JUST got home, even though it was two weeks ago.

We came home and immediately threw ourselves into Loney’s birthday, Valentine’s day, and like 10 other plans we had that week. The next week we had The Beard’s little sister living with us. Then we went back to Disneyland. LOL yikes.

Good

• Disneyland was so great. Both times. But especially the first trip, because we have had it planned for seriously over a year. As soon as we found out Loney’s birthday would be near Reese’s, Ryan’s first words were “So we’ll go to Disneyland for their birthdays!” lol. We didn’t go to Disneyland at all last year so it was so fun to look forward to this trip and it lived up to the hype.
• Both Birthdays! Reese’s birthday in Disneyland was so much fun, especially the part where she took a 4 hour nap lol. Loney’s birthday party was small and chill, but so fun to just celebrate. I love birthdays!!
• So much family time. We saw both of our families a lot and got to spend so much uninterrupted time with our girls. It was often work to make it happen, but well worth the effort to allow that kind of time and attention.
• Ryan’s new job! Ryan took a new job with Lambda School, and it’s so exciting. He’s in charge of Lamda Labs, which is the last four weeks of the boot camp. He prepares them for interviews and directs their capstone projects. It’s going to be a really great thing for him and for our family. It was harder to leave Skip than we anticipated, since it’s been the best job he’s ever had. That part goes in the bad category.
• New Friends! This month I was able to make some new friends in my ward, and I also got closer to friends I’ve had for a long time. I’m really lucky to have incredible people in my life and need to step it up to be worthy of it!
• Organizing. It’s not quite Spring Cleaning yet, but I tackled my MIL’s pantry, my office, Reese’s room, and my laundry room over the past several weeks. I have big plans, so this was just preliminary work but I’m jazzed!
• I am reading up a storm! I attribute it to quitting Twitter. I thought travel would throw off my reading but it didn’t at all. I hope this continues all year!
• Girls Night at Taste – one of the highlights of February was going to Taste for our monthly girls’ night. We did the chocolate tasting and they also had some oils and vinegars to try. It was so interesting and definitely a great outside-the-box activity or date.
• I actually lost weight this month. Don’t look so surprised.

Bad

• We got well enough for the first Disneyland trip and then ended up with double ear infections for Loney between trips. Spring can’t come soon enough.
• Anxiety got the better of me the last week of the month. I’m still slowly coming up from a breakdown and learning more everyday about what I need to do to avoid them.
• Sometimes I see everyone around me improving and becoming such amazing people and feel so embarrassed that I’m not growing up and getting better at the same pace. I’m trying to turn that into positive motivation and not the gloves to punch myself with.
• Loney totally got the short end of the stick this month. So much car and stroller time! I feel guilty that she’s not walking yet (Reese was walking by the end of this week and I just don’t think Loney’s there yet). I just feel a lot of mom guilt around Lone since she’s so chill and easier to adapt to everyone else’s needs.

On My Brain

• Phone use is pretty much always on my brain. After quitting Twitter I found myself opening my phone multiple times a day just out of habit. This month I added Marco Polo to my phone routine and it’s been AWESOME to have nearly real life conversations with my friends during the day. But I don’t want it to become another addiction that becomes indulgent in my life. My friend shared this article with me and it really helped me define how I want to use my phone in my life.
• How do you guys balance responsibilities in a marriage? It’s been really on my brain this month as we seem to finally be settling into a normal routine in this new house, as well as thinking about how much work I do and ~want to do. What’s reasonable for a stay-at-home mom? Stay-and-work-at-home mom? A dad who works full time? A dad who works full time and has a freelance load? I really want to find a balance that works for our family and it feels elusive.
• I crave so desperately a fulfilling balance. I want to fast forward to the day or week or month when I figure life out and can do ~most of what I want and ~all of what I need and not feel like my sanity grip is constantly slipping. I hate the feeling that I can get most of the good and necessary things done, but only at the expense of my motherhood or my sanity, or both.

Wow I thought I was really being selective with my Disney pics but there are still like 10. My word for March is Healthy. I want to make healthy choices this month that bring me to full health – mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, financial. Just being smart and thinking about how each choice is going to make me feel in the long run, not just right now.

February was just so crazy and I’m looking forward to March calming down. How many times have I said that before. Too. Many.