So far so good, 2017. I’m feeling really good because so far my resolutions are pretty on track. Honestly the staying home adjustment has not been hard. I have said no to a few engagements, and mostly just stopped myself from setting up dates and appointments and expectations. It’s been nice. Most of my days are pretty open and loose, and as a result I am much calmer and getting more done. I’ve realized how amazing it feels to only put *necessary* stuff on my to-do list and to actually complete it! I’ve always done this thing where I put a bunch of extra “nice-to-dos” on my list and then even when I complete the “need-to-dos” I feel like I haven’t accomplished that much. Only tackling a FEW necessary stuff is so much more motivating. I love it. Feeling 100 emoji.

The whole “work-only-when-Reese-is-sleeping” resolution on the other hand… that one is an adjustment. I’m gonna blame this on the happy development that suddenly I’m sleeping much better, so I’m not wide awake at 2 am or at 6 am. Yeah, ideally I should be waking up at 8 and plugging in a couple of hours of work before Reese even wakes up. But lately I’ve been able to sleep until 10 or even 11 some mornings so, sorry productivity, I’m gonna ride this train as long as I possibly can.

Good

• I read 5 books! Crushed it.
• We took our kid-free date night on Tuesday thanks to my awesome brother who volunteered to hang with Reese. We got Station 22 and saw La La Land and I loved every second of all of it.
• La La Land.
• This is crazy but I think I’m becoming a cleaner person? I am noticing that I am tidying up areas as we leave them, cleaning as I go, cleaning more often. My house is still a mess much of the time but seeing improvement in my home and myself is so so motivating.
• Pregnancy-wise I am feeling GOOD. Like suspiciously good. I feel really super huge, and I’ve reached the point where bending over isn’t merely uncomfortable – it’s actually kind of impossible. But like I said above – I’m sleeping really well. My hips and back are feeling better. My heartburn is largely under control. I’m slow and tight and I think I’m done with real pants for the rest of this pregnancy, but things are actually feeling really really good.
• We have an induction date! Monday February 13. Because I am already showing some progress and last time went so smoothly they’re cool with inducing me early (I’m due Saturday the 18th) which obvs I was 100% on board for. My induction with Reese was PERFECT and I would honestly love to do it all exactly the same. And it just feels right that I went 5 days over with Reese but they’re gonna let me go 5 days early with this baby. KARMA FOLKS.
• The Beard has been selected to speak at a software conference in April, which is super cool and I’m very proud of him!
• I have tried 3 different recipes from my new recipe books and they’ve all been successful!
• I have 5 guest bloggers working on amazing posts for you guys while I take my “maternity leave” and I’m so excited to see what they come up with

Bad

• Remember a few months ago when I experienced this awesome rebirth when it comes to church attendance? Yeah. Between pregnancy (even the soft chairs are uncomfortable for me to sit on for more than 20 minutes at a time) and now that church is squarely over Reese’s nap… Idk what our attendance will look like for the next month. Or several months.
• I decided to venture back to the gym this week after a LONNNNNNGGGG hiatus only for the snowpocalypse to make it basically impossible to get up University Parkway. After it took me literally 30 minutes to drive 2 miles and I was 15 minutes late for my appointment, I called it and turned around to head back home. Booooooo.
• Reese is teetering on the edge of sickness for the last couple of days. Not full blown, but hoarse, random coughs, sleeping a lot. I’m torn between “NO SICKNESS” and “LET’S GET THIS OVER WITH BEFORE BABY!”
• I’m having a really hard time motivating myself to do things that aren’t necessary. For a couple of weeks now I’ve been trying to get ahead on all of my freelance stuff, but everytime I get a few articles ahead I coast until I’m caught up again. Halpppp.
• I feel bad when people leave rude anonymous comments on my blog, even though I’m a grown up mother of almost two. Probs always will!
• IDK why I thought I wouldn’t get stretch marks this time. To be fair, I didn’t get ~new stretch marks. Just extensions on my old friends.

On My Brain

• My friend Abi posted this beautiful blog about her spiritual journey with the temple. I think it is so critical that we talk about this stuff, because I think the idea that there’s one path to salvation or one journey through the Mormon faith. In reality, it’s not always linear and that’s not a bad thing. People learn when they’re ready, and lessons come in a variety of ways.
• I did something risky and stupid and posted a semi-political opinion status on Facebook. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Conservative friends were posting things that made me sad about the Women’s March. Liberal friends were posting things that made me sad about being pro-life. I just keep getting my feelings hurt and wanting to explain one side to the other and visa versa. I just really want everyone to swallow the idea that there is a reason to be liberal and there is a reason to be conservative. Yes there are some liberals who are lazy, young, and too idealistic to do the math. And yeah, there are conservatives who are racists, bigots, sexist, and not as Christian as their religion might imply. It’s just so heartbreaking to me to watch both sides assume the absolute worst of everyone opposite them. I think of the individual people I know and love when I think of either side, and it genuinely HURTS when people I know and love talk about the opposite side so critically without any humanizing individuation. Why am I such a giant baby.
• Thanks to two very good friends, I achieved some much needed clarity. The idea that everyone is doing their best? It’s still SO HARD for me to swallow. But between these two incredible girls I love – Jessica & Bre – I was able to actually use and apply the principle in a moment when all I could see was bad.
• Is it naive and stupid to just focus on the idea that everything will go totally the same with this labor and delivery? I believe in The Secret, to some extent, but I’m also a worst-case-scenario-prepper. So I want to be ready in case things go sideways. But I don’t want to ~think about things going sideways. If that makes sense. (It doesn’t.)
• This talk was awesome for me. There are two stories that always make me feel uncomfortable – Prodigal Son (I’m the elder brother) and Mary + Martha (I’m Martha). What’s wrong with being the one who sticks with it for their whole life? What’s wrong with being the one who deals with logistics for the Savior?!!! The idea that we glorify the Prodigal Son or just sitting at the Savior’s feet over the more boring but dedicated service of the elder brother or Martha has always made me feel so uncomfortable, unappreciated, off-center. I love that this talk reminded me that Martha was intensely faithful, and that the Lord wasn’t saying she did something wrong. It’s about balance and just focusing on the Savior, however that looks for us. <3

Next week is February. That means I can say “I’m having a baby this month!” It’s so weird that soon there will be this new, permanent, eternal member of our family. And she’s already here. But she isn’t yet. Pregnancy is weird.