I didn’t get much reading done in November, unfortunately. I attribute a lot of that to not exercising much – I listen to audiobooks a lot when I go to the gym or for walks outside, and it was quite cold all month. And, you know, the whole pregnancy thing. I didn’t spend very much time reading hard copies either, hence only 2 books accomplished. But the cool news is that I hit my goal of 36 books for the year already, and it’s something of which I am very proud. So I have a little bit of leeway, right?

My original goal for November was to learn more about toddlers and different discipline/communication techniques as we embark on this crazy new world of toddlerhood. I got Happiest Toddler on the Block, my SIL gave me 5 Love Languages of Children for my birthday, and I ~just got a notification that my hold of Parenting with Love & Logic is available at the library. I only read Happiest Toddler on the Block, but I’m hoping to read the other two this month/soon. It’s important to me that I have a really good understanding of general toddler principles and that The Beard and I can decide on the methods & techniques we feel are best for Reese. From everything I’ve read and gathered – consistency is key, especially with a new baby coming. I don’t want to wait until Baby Gurl is here to decide what our plan is going to be with Reese, and I definitely won’t have the luxury of reading toddler books at that time.

If you have advice/book suggestions/resources for me as we try to figure out our toddler + baby future please let me know!!

Happiest Toddler on the Block

As a sequel to his successful “Happiest Baby on the Block” Harvey Karp turns his expertise and learning to the subject of toddlers. He gives you instantly implementable techniques for communication, discipline, and positive/negative reinforcement of certain behaviors. He talks about their development, how they process emotions and new information, and just generally explains why toddlers are the little tornadoes that they are. 

I never read Happiest Baby on the Block, but I have heard a lot of good things about it and liked a lot of the general principles. This one came up when I was looking for recommended books about toddlers, and it was a very easy and interesting read. It’s the first toddler/parenting book I’ve actually read, and I’m glad because it was very accessible and not intimidating.

Good

• Instantly accessible. His key principles are some you can begin using right away.
• Customized. A big beef I have with stuff I read about parenting is that so many things seem to be “universal” or “this will work for everyone!” Sometimes Reese is really normal and average, and sometimes she is so completely different than the average baby. I liked that Karp talks about different types of kids, different types of parents, different stages, and different circumstances. It really feels like anyone can use this.
• Sectioned. I read it on ebook on my phone, which means I read it in random, tiny pieces when I have down time. This was easy to read, set down, and pick up days later.
• Clearly labeled. This kind of goes with “sectioned” but it was easy to skip the parts I didn’t feel applied to us, or the parts that got repetitive. Very handbook-y.
• Toddler-ese: Karp’s main idea is that you can’t really ~talk to your toddler. Have you ever noticed how we try to talk rationally to our toddlers when they’re having a meltdown? “No, you can’t have candy right now. Candy isn’t for breakfast.” “Don’t hit. Hitting is mean. Can you say sorry? Give a hug and say sorry. Stop being mean.” We try to keep our cool by rationally explaining to our toddlers why they can’t have what they desperately need or why they shouldn’t be screaming at the top of their lungs. It made SO MUCH SENSE when he said “how do you react when your kid does something great? Cheering, clapping, smiling, repetition, simple words. That’s how you should also talk to them when they’re freaking out.” When your toddler shares a toy with a friend you say “Yayyyy! Good sharing! So Nice!” and clap and smile and hug. But when they take a toy from a friend you say “No, we share. She was playing with it first. You can play with THIS one. Give it back. Say sorry.” Instead we need to keep that primitive communication when they lose it, too. Repetition, a few understandable words, tone, facial expressions, sounds, and body language. It seemed crazy at first when he said we should LITERALLY GROWL at our toddlers, but you know what? That shiz freaking works.
• Fast Food Rule – this is just a good rule of thumb. When you order fast food, you expect them to read your order back to you, right? That’s how you know they heard and understood you. This is how we should communicate basically with everyone, but especially toddlers. Empathize with how they’re feeling and repeat back to them what they want. “You’re MAD! You want to play with your doll!” Often this will stop tantrums and freakouts in their tracks because toddlers simply want to be understood.
• Time-In – this is by far my favorite thing I learned. Basically time-in prevents time-outs. If you spend little doses of time-in each hour, it makes your toddler feel loved, supported, and appreciated, and it can buy you the bigger chunk of an hour that is tantrum-free.

Less Good

• Super repetitive.
• The examples of Toddler-ese were so obnoxious. I get that he was trying to mimic toddlers, and toddlers ARE obnoxious but man. We did not need 3,000 examples of toddler dialogue and the ways should talk back to them in Toddler-ese.
• Reading it on ebook was helpful in a lot of ways, but having a copy that I own would probably be better, because I felt like the stuff he was saying about 3 year olds was so far from our reality. But eventually it WILL be our reality, and I’ll need to refer back to it.

Emmy & Oliver

Emmy’s world changes forever when her best friend and neighbor, Oliver, is kidnapped by his father at age seven. She grows up with overprotective parents looking over her shoulder constantly. When Oliver reappears 10 years later everything changes all over again, shaking up relationships between everyone. 

This book came recommended by my friend as a YA novel that doesn’t make you want to die, and it lived up! YA fiction is difficult. There’s enough dystopian future to drown in. Cheesy dialogue. Dangerous romance. Indulgent teen behavior that villifies all authority. Thankfully, this one toes the line on all fronts. A little cheesy dialogue, some romance but nothing that would make you too nervous to have your teen read it.

Good

• You generally like all of the characters, which is nice.
• Probably my favorite part is that Emmy doesn’t let a boy or her best friend, or even her parents get in the way of her college dream! I was worried it would be like “oh I’m in love I can’t leave him” but thankfully it sent a much better message.
• Parents are shown as multidimensional beings. Not enemies, not a punchline, not silly comic relief. Everyone’s parents are shown as flawed, but trying, which is incredibly realistic and helpful for teens.
• A kid being kidnapped by his father and then found 10 years later is what drew me in, and is definitely a unique way of telling a teen story.
• It was a very easy listen, and the audiobook was quick and well-read.

Less Good

• Their relationship develops seemingly overnight. You know it’s going to, but it’s still very superficial.
• A little bit of swearing, but honestly not bad. Just expect a few f-bombs and a lot of “OMG”
• Weirdly they don’t actually seem to address the kidnapping or Oliver’s dad, which annoyed me. That’s the whole premise/reason for this story! You have to address it!
• I felt like it had a lot of potential and I just ended up underwhelmed.