I’m a big fan of self-help books. Some favorites include Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Better Than Before, How to Win Friends and Influence People, and The Secret. I love being given the lenses through which I can look at myself in a completely different light. I don’t necessarily believe that there’s one self-help bible that should be the end-all, be-all of self-improvement programs, though. I think there are elements of various systems that will appeal to you depending on your needs or strengths & weaknesses. I read as many self-help books as I can get my hands on, provided I have heard at least one real-life positive review or recommendation.

I didn’t fully realize what I was picking up when I borrowed The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up from my mom. I thought it was just going to be a monumental new way of cleaning my house, which I needed. I have a lot of clutter and I’m so bad at keeping my house clean. People often ask me how I do it all – well, I do it all… except clean my house. I had no idea just how thorough, mental, and spiritual this book was!

At the risk of sounding cheesy and unoriginal, I kind of think this has been life changing for me! I’m serious. I’m talking about it constantly, doing things differently, and I’m much more aware of my feelings and moods. My home is cleaner and more organized, except for the areas I’m still processing. I feel such love and gratitude for the things in my home. I just genuinely feel ~good.

For those of you who haven’t read it, here’s the basic idea. She throws out all of the conventional ways to declutter and organize your home. Don’t do one drawer or one room at a time. Don’t throw out one thing a day or limit yourself to a number of items. Don’t allow yourself one “junk” drawer. Don’t buy fancy organizers or products that claim to help tidy your home. Everything you’ve heard about decluttering and organizing is wrong, suckers.

Instead, you start with what should always be the main focus: you, your feelings, your life. That is what dictates how you declutter and tidy up. Essentially, the only things you should have in your home are things you absolutely love or absolutely need or absolutely use. We, especially Americans I imagine, have SO MUCH. But how much of that can we say we truly love and use? An embarrassing fraction. The KonMari method takes it from a fraction to a whole number – 100% of the things in your house make you happy or serve a useful purpose.

How To Use the KonMari Method

P.S. my whole house has been a disaster while I go through the process, but it’s worth it! 

• Take a minute to think about your house, your life, your goals. What kind of a life do you want to live in this space? Maybe you want it to be totally zen and chill. Maybe you want it to be artistic and inspiring. Maybe you want it to be full of books and cozy AF. Maybe you picture yourself cooking delicious gourmet meals. For me I want a space where I can easily host friends and family on a whim, the kind of place people are comfortable and want to go.
• Tackle by category, not by room. This was HUGE. Don’t be like “Oh I’ll do my closet!” and leave the coat closet, clothing storage, and bedroom drawers for another day. Do ALL of your clothing at once. Gather it from all over your house, take it out of it’s organizers/drawers/hooks/bags/etc., and throw it all in massive pile to work on. That alone makes you go “Oh sh*z. I have a lot.”
• Totally undistracted, pick up each single item and hold it. Notice carefully how you feel. Does it make you really, truly happy, of it’s own existence? The phrase she uses is “Spark Joy.” It’s not “did this make me happy?” or “did I once love this?” or “do I have good memories in/about this?” That was hard for me. It’s really hard to disassociate memories and past feelings from current feeling. It’s a skill, though, and it gets easier. I sometimes even had to say out loud “Do I love this? Today? Right this second? Does it truly make me happy as a single object I own?” At first the process was slow, but now, two weeks after reading it and well into my process, I can tell just by touch.
• Analyze why you have a tough time letting some things go. Did someone give this to you? Do you have great memories? Did you really ~want to like it or want it to look good on you? Were you saving it for a time you weighed less or had more free time? Do you feel guilty about the amount you spent on it or how you acquired it? It’s such a raw look into the way we buy and feel about our possessions. It was even painful for me at times.
• Say “thank you.” I thought this was the cheesiest thing at first. But now I LOVE IT. Everything you own has a purpose, and if it isn’t bringing you joy then it’s served it’s purpose. Thank it for serving that purpose and let it go. For example, I have so many decorations that I bought when we were engaged/first married and it was hard to part with them, even though they’re old or don’t really reflect our taste. The purpose they served was the excitement and unity and progress of moving in together and making our home our own. They served that purpose. I can say “thank you” to them and then discard them without any guilt or sadness. Sometimes (often) I had to acknowledge that the only purpose a piece of clothing served was the thrill I got when I bought it, or that it taught me I will never be able to wear a v-neck. Thank you, 8 different v-necks, for what you taught me. Bye.
• Avoid putting your “keepers” away right away. Sometimes, like with my clothes, the process took a couple of days and I couldn’t just have piles of clothes on my bed, so I stashed them in my closet but with full understanding that I wasn’t done.
• Return and do another round once you get the hang of it. I got rid of 5 bags of clothes, 2 bags of shoes, and a huge tote full of bags and purses. I got rid of a TON! But still, when I went back to put things away and reorganize I found there was even more I could discard. This is the point at which you really learn to let go and have faith almost – you won’t run out of clothes. You won’t regret or miss the things you’re ditching. Have some faith and trust.
• Get the discards out of your house. I had a bunch of friends and family come and take anything they wanted – much of the stuff was barely used and some of it was even brand new! – and then took the rest to DI or trashed it if it was beyond reasonable use. It felt like a huge weight off my shoulders. It’s kind of addicting, actually.
• Find a reasonable home for everything you own. Display the things you love, don’t hide them away. If a drawer is too full, you’re never gonna find or use the things you need. She’s a big fan of using shoeboxes as dividers and organizers, and really believes you don’t need anything really fancy to tidy up. Once you only keep the things that you LOVE or truly use, you find you have plenty of space for them, and it’s easier to put them away and keep everything tidy because it has a space.

That’s a pretty scaled down overview and there’s a lot more in her book. She talks about all the different categories in your home and the excuses/reasons you might give for holding on to certain things. Some of it is repetitive, but I highly recommend reading the entire thing.

Things I Love About It

• Tidiness, duh. The top drawer in our bathroom has always been a disaster. Full of random crap, overstuffed so it sometimes jams, and difficult to sort through when you need something. Now it’s about 1/3 as full and I don’t want to brag here, but I think I’ve actually flossed twice since conquering it. I know where everything is! Everything is visible! I’m not distracted by random samples I’ll never use and 2,000 bobby pins!
• Fewer choices. This was a big fear for me, and I realized a big reason why I buy so much. I’m worried that I’ll feel “stuck” or like I have no options. I hold onto necklaces because they’re cute and what if I need them to complete the perfect outfit one day?? I need a variety of heels in every different color, just in case. Yes, I DO need this same color cardigan in both lengths. I never wear tights, but I should probably keep 8 pairs in my drawer; they’re small, might as well right??? NO. After I did my shoes (yikes), I was getting ready for my friend’s birthday dinner. I had my outfit locked in, just needed shoes. I realized I only had one pair of shoes in my “keeper” pile that I could wear with the outfit. I knew that in the discard pile I had at least 3 other pairs that would work with the outfit too – more trendy, taller, or more sleek. I would have tried them all on alternately and agonized over the choice, maybe going with the trendy ones for the outfit post even though they hurt and I didn’t love them. Instead I only had the one option – and they were ones I LOVED. They matched, were comfy, and I just felt ~good in them. It was much faster and painless to get dressed when I had fewer options – it’s less overwhelming.
• Fun and Confidence getting dressed! This is huge for me right now when I’m so self-conscious about my bump/no bump/chubbiness. Every single thing in my closet is something I love, something that looks good on me, something that makes me feel great. I legitimately think I look better lately because I’m excitedly getting dressed and wearing things I’ve forgotten about or used to ignore in favor of something “new” or trendy that I thought I needed to wear first before wearing my old standards.
• Space. With a baby on the way I was forced to think about the space we needed to free up. We’re like a noble gas – we have grown to fill all of the space available to us. We’re adding another person to the mix, and we’re planning on being in this townhome for at least a little while after the baby is born. Thankfully she’s a girl, so we won’t be adding a bunch of new stuff, but we will need to bring things out of storage for everyday use again – baby clothes, the Mamaroo, the Bumbo, etc. Not to mention the office was overflowing and our closet was so tight and difficult to access without making a mess. Now every single room in the house feels like it has feet of extra space. I found myself with empty drawers!!!!!! For example, I had a shoe rack in my closet, two organizers at the foot of my bed, and an entire shelf in our big hall linen closet for my shoes. Now that racks and organizers have extra space, and there are no shoes in my linen closet – it’s a whole huge shelf for baby girl’s stuff!
• Uncovering your style & taste. I’m not a trendy blogger type, no matter how much I’ve tried to be. It was so apparent by what was dominating my discard pile. Neon heels that were chic for a hot second in 2013, tassel banners that are in all the instagrams of parties and cute nurseries, boyfriend jeans that I tried so hard to like. The things I truly love are much more classic and minimalistic in nature. Few bright colors, few adventurous cuts, very little navy blue (black is my base).
• Humbling. It was so sobering to look at the HUGE PILES of everything I was discarding. How much money have I spent on this stuff? How many times did I buy one of these items to make myself feel better or be cooler? IT NEVER WORKED. I’m at peace with being a ~little worldly, but this ish was out of control y’all!!!! Do I think things can make you happy? Absolutely. But when about 1/3 of my stuff was truly making me happy and 2/3 was only costing me money and emotional guilt? YIKES. I felt really embarrassed and dumb.
• Changing Your Brain About Things. This was a two part thing for me.
  • #1 I can already see it changing the way I shop. I can walk through Target and not buy something. I can resist a great discount on something. I will probably still make the mistake of buying things that don’t bring me joy, but I can already tell that I’m less impulsive.
  • #2 I have more love and appreciation of my stuff. It’s kind of hippy, but she literally thanks, out loud, her shoes when she takes them off every day. I’m not quite at that level, but I am so much more mindful of my stuff. It makes me more grateful and just ~happier. Even though I got rid of over a truckbed load of stuff from my house, I don’t feel like I have less. Honestly. I know it sounds crazy but it’s true.

If you’ve felt unhappy about your home or possessions, go get this book. I highly recommend even just doing it with your closet! That’s had the biggest impact for me.

They say it takes about 6 months to fully make the switch, and I’m honestly looking forward to seeing what my home and life look like in 6 months when baby girl gets here. For now I’m just working through the first round of the process. I have two categories left to tackle this week, and then next week I’m capping it off with a full-house deep clean.

The Beard even said “Whoa. You’re nesting way harder with this baby than you ever did with Reese.” Truuuuu. Anyway hit me up if you read it, want tips, or just want to talk about it! I’m hooked!