By and large, I am so pleased with how everything went with Reese. From pregnancy to delivery to life with a baby – I’m hoping much of it goes exactly the same. Which of course means that it won’t. But! Hopefully ~some of it can be similar, because it was bomb.
Still, it’s in my nature to constantly assess and look for improvement, so even as things were basically perfect I started a list of things I wanted to do better the next time around. I’ve been thinking much more seriously about it since we decided to try to get pregnant again this last spring, and now every step along the way!
13 week bump – taken right before we left for Disneyland!
Pregnancy
- Keep it a secret longer – I felt like last time it made the pregnancy longer when I announced earlier. I’m glad I waited a little longer this time around. I already feel like it’s flying.
- Stop using “well I’m pregnant” as an excuse. Last time around I was super hungry and would have cravings that I would indulge with no restraint. If I wanted a cheeseburger and fries – I ate them. If I felt too tired to do the dishes – I didn’t. And you know what? It was fine! But this time around I know a little better. If I’m craving something I don’t ~need it. If I’m hungry I should eat, but I should start with healthy, real food first. I’m not disabled and I don’t need to stuff my face with garbage just because I feel like I want it.
- Accept fatigue. You know… we’re just gonna be tired while we’re pregnant. We just are. It’s a lesson I had to learn again this time around: just because I feel like I need a nap doesn’t mean a nap is actually going to make me feel better. I’m not saying you shouldn’t take it easy when you need it, or that you should work yourself to the bone, of course. But what I found was that I would spend a lot of the day on the couch, napping, doing nothing because I felt like doing nothing… and I didn’t feel any better or more rested than the days where I had to do be up and doing stuff. Basically it means that every single day it’s a temptation to nap for a couple of hours when Reese takes her nap. I do sometimes! Not all the time, though, because I usually wake up feeling just as tired (if not MORE tired and headachey) and I didn’t accomplish anything productive. Some days I’m just tired, but I just have to get some crap done. Even if it’s not much, it’s something ad it makes me feel a little better.
- Stay active! LOL this was derailed for obvious reasons. Thankfully I’m cleared to work out again this week and I’m back on the (very slow) (very gentle) (very cautious) grind. I just feel better and less incapable. Whether it’s regular light walking and stretching or hopefully a weekly Zumba session, I plan to have a workout schedule for the remainder of this pregnancy. Yeah, it’ll change. But I’ll have one.
- Gain less weight. This goes hand in hand with the last three points. I gained a LOT with Reese, and I was able to lose it all. But I think there will be numerous benefits to gaining less this time. I have gained much less at this point than I did with Reese and I’m really happy about it. I weigh in weekly and simply write it down without judgement. Just the awareness is good for me, and I’m hoping it means an overall smaller weight when baby time comes.
- Take more bump & pregnancy style pics! I haven’t done great with this, but I do have a cute Countdown Tee and I’m going to try to take regular outfit pics with it and my maternity clothes.
- Nest better. Last time I was working, and we also had a completely free room in our house, which meant I just bought and bought, sticking everything in there, but didn’t de-junk, deep clean, organize, or improve our house much. I’m already ahead of the game – I’m spending this week working through KonMari method for decluttering my house.
- Save more. Having another baby girl is great for this, because I think the only thing I ~have to buy is a double stroller. And even that isn’t necessary, and I won’t need it right away. I’m going to buy the next size up of my current stroller (upgrade from the Uppababy Cruz to the Vista), and buy a few new things for baby girl to have for her own, but I’m limiting myself. We have more serious savings goals this time around, and I’m hoping we can stick to them.
Labor, Delivery, Recovery
- Go in well-fed. This is probably my only real regret of labor and delivery – I was STARVING.
- Tap into the spiritual nature of labor and birth. It was incredible last time, but I had no idea just how spiritual of an experience it was about to be. I really can’t wait for next time, and I want to be prepared to experience it fully.
- Be prepared in general. I’m not an idiot. I know that it’s crazy to expect the same amazing and easy experience twice in a row. Much of me wants to believe what the nurses said: “You’re made for having babies! You should have 10!” Well, not that last part. But I want to believe that my body is naturally good at this. I also want to be prepared in the event that this round is more complicated and difficult. Natural birth terrifies me, so I think it’s prudent to be informed and prepared in case we have to go that route due to speed or other issues.
- Start wearing my girdle earlier and more consistently. Last time I wore it so randomly, and basically just like Spanx. This means I missed out on the healing opportunity for my abdominal muscles to migrate back faster and better.
- Concentrate on core workouts once cleared to exercise. I did a great job last time with cardio, which is why I was able to lose the weight. But my abs have just never really recuperated. I’d like to do better next time.
- Keep taking prenatals after baby is born. I tried to but fell off the wagon last time. I’ve heard they help you bounce back faster, produce plenty of good milk, and just generally be healthier.
New Baby
- Nurse better. My posture was TERRIBLE last time, which meant my back and shoulders hurt all the time. After consulting with mom friends I have learned some ways to improve my nursing experience.
- Nurse in public. Idk why I was so weird about this. It wasn’t that I was uncomfortable or overly modest or anything. It just felt so inconvenient for some reason – which is hilarious because prepping a bottle every time we left the house was definitely not more convenient. I want to get more comfortable and efficient about nursing in public this time.
- Nurse longer. I nursed Reese for about 5 months, and felt great about it! No regrets at all. I just want to go longer next time. I’m not gonna set a particular monthly goal, but let’s just say… longer.
- Introduce formula, but limit it to 1 bottle a week. I was actually really glad that I introduced formula to Reese early on (2 or 3 weeks I think, once we had nursing completely conquered), because having the option was so so nice. But it also was a safety net that I fell on several times when cluster feeding was making me crazy. Of course, this might change depending on baby’s needs and #FedisBest, always. I just want to give her one bottle of formula a week to keep her taste up and make sure it’s always an option, and try my best to keep it to one formula bottle a week.
- Get out of the house with the girls by myself within the first week of being home alone. I’ve heard this advice from multiple mothers I admire. It wasn’t that tricky with Reese – one kid is practically an accessory, even if it felt monumental at the time. It might be a huge hassle, a waste of time, and a complete disaster. But I’m going to do it. Because as soon as you start doing it you start getting better at it, and I want to be a mom that can still live my life with two kids in tow.
- Daily routines in place earlier. I wouldn’t trade those carefree, wild first few months for ~anything. However, I think we don’t have the luxury of those lawless months this time around. I’ll have 2 years of experience under my belt when next baby arrives, so theoretically falling into a routine should be much faster.
Having two is going to be a whole new world. I’m nervous, if I’m being honest. Mothers of two or more – what about you? What did you do differently, or wish you’d done differently? What am I to expect with this next baby? Plz halp. I’m a textbook overthinker with ~only 5 months to prepare!!!!!!!!! (I’m serious though.)
7 thoughts on “What I’ll Do Differently This Time”
Ok, yes. So good. First off, lemme know if you want resources on learning about unmedicated births. I’ve loved mine!
Second: I really agree about the weight gain. I weirdly gained 10lbs less with Livvy and it made a huge difference in recovery for me. I realized maybe I could be fine without a milkshake haha.
Third: if you do wanna nurse longer, it may be a good idea to prep well for pumping and storing milk. More nursing for me meant more supply to deal with.
My big goal this go around is to make sure I still function well. Whether that’s making sure I’m on top of making dinners (even if that means grocery shopping sans kids at night), getting a manicure, buying those amazing maternity leggings, or doing my best to still “mom”.
Such a good list. I think last time I was so *crazy* and was so focused on just surviving, I missed out on a lot of stuff that could have made for a great start to two kids. Obviously it wasn’t my fault and I couldn’t have changed anything, but I’m really hoping to avoid that this time around. I think for me that’s going to mean and major focus on daily meditation, lowered expectations and quality time with Jake. I’m pretty sure 3 kids is gonna rock our world and I have no idea what to expect. So hopefully we can just roll with the punches and keep from losing our minds 😂 also I’m gaining weight waaaay faster than with this pregnancy so I think from here on out I need a better focus on my nutrition. *fingers crossed*
I think I speak for everyone when I say that one pregnancy post a week is just not enough ha ha. I would love to hear more about this girdle, preparing for birth (physically, mentally, spiritually), and how to avoid bad nursing posture. You could pretty much write a post on anything from this post and I’d be interested.
I agree SO much with the eating! My doctor told me to eat whatever I could keep down/sounded good in the first trimester. Somehow that mentality never changed ha ha. Someone my husband works with mentioned a gestational diabetic diet. I don’t have gestational diabetes but she said the diet will help to eat healthier and avoid delivering a huge baby (which I’m terrified of). I’m gonna have to look into it!
Ok, I’m so excited to keep reading about this pregnancy! Just call me a crazy stalker, whatever. What girdle do you have? I definitely need one next time, especially since I have to have c-sections.
Yes. Keep the pregnancy posts a-comin’. I’m also interested in the girdle you have. I’d also like to hear about the nursing tips you have received and those you have to give. I’m excited to nurse but a bit intimidated.
That’s great you’re being open minded about the possibility of a natural/unmedicated birth! Everyone is different. Everyone has different birth experiences/pain tolerances. But if you feel like you can do it, you can. I did both of mine unmedicated and I said with both – I would rather go through labor every month for the first 6 months rather than do the day-to-day of waking up 8 times per night and painful breastfeeding. Ugh, those first few months are so hard for me. And I love how you want to do your research on it. That’s always what I tell people when they’re trying to decide. The research for me was how I made my decision. If you ever need a direction to go, I can give you my resources that helped me. And you mentioned how you don’t feel like you’ll need a double stroller right away. I thought THE SAME THING, but boy was I wrong. I so wished I had gotten my Sit’n’Stand right from the get-go! I had no idea a car seat could click in, so it would’ve made errands, like going to the library, so much easier so I wouldn’t be hauling a car seat.
You are gonna kill it! 🙂 You are so organized and motivated that you will rock 2 kids! 🙂 Newborns sleep a TON during the day so it will give you a little time to adjust and focus on Reese before both kids are demanding even more attention. One thing I didn’t really consider but was my saving grace the first few months was wearing my baby in one of those wrap things. It made playing with the twins and doing stuff around the house way easier. So excited to see this little cutie! 🙂