YES there will be some spoiler content in this post, so if you haven’t read the script yet – come back when you have. I don’t want to ruin anything for you! I am so glad that nothing was ruined for me, because I think you need to just read it through and just ~experience it.

I was very, VERY nervous for this. I thought I would certainly be disappointed and I’d heard some vague accounts about it showing favorite characters in a less-than-favorable light. Did you guys know that I never even read that short story about everyone reuniting at the Quidditch World Cup that Rowling released a few years ago? I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Idk. Maybe I’ll be able to now. I just very painfully tore myself from this world when the last movie came out, like the most excruciating band-aid that forced me to realize that it was over. Yes, I’ll be obsessed and have these books and movies for my entire lifetime of course. But it’s hard to realize something is over for me, and I guess I just wasn’t ready to open up for something new and then have that feeling of being “done” again. When this was announced I had the same feelings, but realized quickly that it would be a big enough deal that I couldn’t, and wouldn’t, avoid it.

What if something awful happened? What if people turned out to be sucky as adults? What if someone died? What if Albus is the Kylo Ren to Harry’s & Ginny’s Han & Leia???????? Or, worst of all, what if it just isn’t that good? Now THAT I couldn’t abide.

And a play? Why???? It’ll be years before the majority of us can actually see it. And a script? Such a weird thing to read. What would that be like? Certainly not as pleasant to read as an actual book. Lacking context, description, the critical unnarrated thought and emotion that characterizes Rowling’s writing… I just had very low hopes and it was wearing on me in the weeks leading up to this. I know that much of my Harry Potter Book Club agreed with me, because we were kind of all this one big knot of nervous energy about it.

So when midnight came and I was holding the book in my hands – a book that said “Harry Potter” and “JK Rowling” on the cover – I was incredibly relieved to feel my fears dissipate and my excitement mount. Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve had that familiar new-Harry-book feeling? Yes, you do. Nine years since the release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I felt seventeen again. Flipping that cover open and seeing the names of my favorite characters in print again felt like coming home.

I read for a couple of hours before literally falling asleep on the open pages around 3 am and jerking awake from drool and scratchy new paper. I spent much of those early pages wiping away tears because it was just making me so emotional to hear them speak (figuratively) again and to pick up the little nuggets and pieces that it felt like JK Rowling was dropping just for us.

When I woke on Sunday morning I reached straight for my copy and didn’t set it down until I was done, walking around making lunch and picking up Reese’s toys one-handed. The Beard got pretty sick of my exclamations and gasps, but he got even more sick of me trying to explain the entire play to him. So here I am spilling it all in a blog post.

Thoughts, Loves, Opinions, Disappointments

• Harry saying to Albus what Molly Weasley said to him at Platform 9 3/4 CRYING EMOJI
• THE BLANKET CRYING EMOJI DEAD EMOJI
• I absolutely LOVED the Trolley Witch and her backstory. Somehow that felt like such a JK touch, like something she wanted to include in the books but never had reason to. Yeah, I’m not sure if that was all true they WOULD have been able to escape, but whatevs. Didn’t let that bog me down.
• Ron is such a DAD and somehow that was hilarious and so comforting to me. The idea that he steps into Fred’s place to run the joke shop (with George, presumably?) was healing to my heart.
• OF COURSE Hermione weaponizes books and riddles of COURSE she does so on brand
• SHE’S THE MINISTER WHAT A BADASS I LOVE HER
• I want to raise Scorpius as my own. I just love him so much. He provides some depth to Slytherin house, as well as redemption for his father.
• Speaking of Draco, of course there is still animosity and his deep-seated nature is to be a little b*tch. But it was interesting to see the way that becoming a parent, and especially Astoria, has changed him. I still bristled at moments when he’d smile at Hermione or Ginny, obviously, because 7 books of ingrained conditioning and hatred isn’t just gonna go away.
• We got very little about Astoria and I wish we had so much more. I’d read an entire book about her. Just the idea that Draco defied his dear father to marry her automatically makes her one of the most interesting and arguably important characters to this story.
• How pissed is McGonagall that she is still dealing with Harry Potter’s sh*t all these years later? But like of course she is
• This sounds awful but I was surprised that she was still alive, to be honest?
• I get that this is a play and they can have the entire cast of the books, but I just kept thinking “Molly Weasley would be lighting this sh*t up right now if her grandson was missing. Where the hell is she?”
• But seriously how did they manage the Polyjuice Potion onstage? The spells? The time turning? I just couldn’t even picture it! I can’t wait to see it!
• The Delphi/Amos/Cedric thing just never felt all that ~real to me? I guess that was my biggest beef with this story. It’s not an original story – it’s diving back into the main story in a fresh way – which I liked! I just felt like the Delphi/Amos/Cedric part was a little bit of a stretch? Idk. Seemed like a random and small piece of the story to blow into a full book but at the same time it was a big death in Harry’s life and a pivotal point for Voldemort.
• To be honest – I always wondered why Voldemort didn’t procreate to solidify his mark on the world. I even said to Harry Potter Book Club that I would have expected it to be with Bellatrix. They’ll back me up on that. So that part seemed reasonable to me, even though I know people think it sounds far-fetched.
• I’ve never been a huge Hermione/Ron-shipper but I did like seeing their relationship in the different universes. The tension in the moment where they interact at Hogwarts in the reality where Ron married Padma was probably one of my favorite parts of the entire play.
• My biggest complaint about this play is that, as someone who has deeply identified with Hermione from my earliest memories, I didn’t feel this WAS Hermione, if that makes sense? Being the Minister – yes. The weaponized bookshelf – you bet. But her dialogue, the way she handled things… it just didn’t feel particularly Hermione to me. Which is ok – this isn’t her story. This wasn’t about her.
• Similar feelings about McGonagall, to be honest.
• Harry has always been a bit of an idiot, but he felt particularly obtuse and belligerent somehow? Ugh, Harry.
• I loved being able to talk to Dumbledore’s portrait. And there was some good closure to the Harry/Dumbledore relationship there, but at the same time it felt a little forced to me.
• HAGRID SAYING HE WAS GONNA BE HARRY’S FRIEND LITERALLY BROKE ME INTO A MILLION PIECES NOT LITERALLY OBVIOUSLY I JUST MEAN IT THE WAY WHITE GIRLS MEAN IT AND I WILL NEVER STOP CRYING ABOUT IT
• I actually really liked the tension and friction between Harry & Albus, though I know it made a lot of people angry and uncomfortable. As someone who has dealt with teens a lot I felt it was a pretty good picture of what that relationship really would look like.
• Ron meeting Neville for a drink in Hogsmeade just made me so happy. Just so happy.
• The Voldemort reality was scary as sh*t to me and just made the main story mean so much more to me, somehow
• The depth and bravery to Snape added in this story did feel a little heavy-handed, but somehow totally right. Being willing to sacrifice himself to a better reality where he was dead makes sense, since he was willing to die and risked his life constantly in the actual story.
• I liked the message that being in Gryffindor wouldn’t have made Albus happier or made his problems go away, just like being the popular Scorpion King wasn’t ~right for Scorpius.
• The love interests for Scorpius and Albus were a little confusing to me as I felt like they were kind of more in love with each other, I guess? Idk. Maybe that’s just the vibe I got because I couldn’t watch it. Whether it was romantic or just platonic, either way I really did love their relationship and connection.
• I really, REALLY missed the descriptive narrative. I’m not very visual and not good at imagining, so the lack of description in a script is difficult for me. I never did theater. I’m a writer – I can see something and put it on paper, but I have a real hard time going back the other way.
• Per usual, I should have expected Delphi from the first pages when I was confused why she would flirt with a 14  year old and want their help when they’re clearly supposed to be at Hogwarts? But that’s very JK, isn’t it? Twisted me right up.

I could keep going for another hour, but I’ll stop there. I can’t wait until our Harry Potter Book Club meeting this month because we are just gonna straight up discuss it for probably 6 hours, maybe more. We have no way of knowing. Hit me up if you want to join us this month!

Overall – I loved it. It’s bugging me that other people didn’t. It makes me feel like they don’t really ~get it or maybe they’re taking it too seriously or trying actively to dislike it. I feel like you have to avoid spoilers, come at it with no/low expectations, and just let the part that feels like our old school stories speak to you. Let it be it’s own new thing, and don’t treat it like something that’s coming to displace your old favorites. Enjoy the nuggets that she’s dropping just for us. Savor the feeling of a new Harry Potter story, even if it’s not a bona fide Harry Potter story.

As always, I love you JK. Thank you for continuing to bring magic into this Muggle world. We owe you so much. You have no idea what your words have meant in my life, and this play just felt like a little dessert after the hearty meal you’ve given us. Thank you.