My little sister Taryn graduates from high school on Thursday (she already graduated from UVU with her Associates Degree two weeks ago because she’s a boss), and it’s been hard to NOT relive my high school graduation a little bit.

The month of May 2008 was one of the wildest of my life. It was hard, it was great, it was fun, it was scary, it was sad, it was busy, it was exciting. I honestly don’t know how I survived it. It started with the sudden death & funeral of one of my best friends, threw me around UVU finals and AP tests, the 4A softball state tournament, my last softball game ever, graduation, and vacationing with my family. I remember driving down to the softball fields by myself one Sunday night and just sitting on the hill, drowning, gasping for air. I couldn’t decide if I wanted time to speed up or slow down. I couldn’t decide if I was happy or sad, because, as we all know, it is impossible for an 18 year old brain to be both.

The entire month felt like an amusement park ride – fun and cheesy and scary. I definitely didn’t want to ride it again, but it wasn’t over just yet was it? I look back at little May 2008 Danica and I can say I am genuinely proud of her for pushing through and doing it all. I’d tell her that month itself was better life prep than anything else that happened in high school.

There’s a lot of things I would tell young Danica, and lots of things I’ve thought to write in Taryn’s congratulations card. So we’re gonna give them a test run. I maybe crowd-sourced some, too.

• The Spirit definitely doesn’t “go home at midnight” but honestly nothing that cool happens after like 2 am, I promise
• Go on first dates with anyone (unless you genuinely fear your safety, of course), even if they don’t seem like “your type.” You’ll walk away with a good time or a good story.
• Find a physical activity or workout that you actually ~like to do, and try to make time for it weekly. Make it something you look forward to – something that becomes your therapeutic escape from life.
• Explore the library as soon as you get on campus. Walk all through it, and choose your *place.* Do as much homework and studying there as you can.
• Countdowns will save your life.
• Learn to communicate openly with your roommates. I am convinced that the roommate relationship is the hardest one to cultivate, but also one of the most influential on your college life.
• Carry a water bottle everywhere you go.
• Don’t dilly-dally with your education. Power through and get it done as soon as possible. If you can get it done before marriage and kids you will be SO GRATEFUL. Trust me. (And trust Nichole Keele – this bit of advice came from her and I agree wholeheartedly.)
• Get a job. Try a few different kinds over the course of your college career. They teach you as much as your classes, but you get paid for them.
• It’s ok to meet people on the internet. It’s 2016. Your mom may be afraid of it, but it’s normal. Just don’t share personal info over the internet/text EVER, and make sure you meet them in real life, public situations.
• Don’t get sucked into college comparisons. You made your decision, they made theirs. It’s not about “better” or “worse.” It’s about what was the right choice for you and the right choice for them.
• Go on at least one amazing and pointless road trip with your friends.
• Use a real planner. Google Calendar is great, but use a real planner.
• You are allowed to take up space. You are allowed to have thoughts and feelings. Do not EVER make a boy or anyone else make you feel like you aren’t. Do not apologize for existing or doing what’s best for you.
• Track your finances, budget, and save. Don’t rack up credit card debt. I wish I had learned to do this (read: had the discipline to do this) before I got married. (This bit of advice from Reed Larsen and Nichole Keele, too.)
• Get dressed for class every day. You never know when you’re gonna run into your campus crush!!!!
• Don’t waste your money on bad pizza.
• If you can swing a Study Abroad or some type of internship where you have to travel somewhere you’ve never been before – do it. It is so enriching and worth it.
• College football games are pretty awesome, so go to at least one.
• Singles Wards are the WOOOooooooOOOOoooooOORST. But you should go and participate and attend the activities anyway.
• You are paying thousands of dollars for this education. Show up, ask questions, take notes, and accept some ownership of it.
• It’s ok to question your testimony and doctrine. In fact I think it’s healthy. Just don’t stew alone. Keep your mind and heart open and talk to someone you trust.
• Always make sure SOMEONE knows where you are. I wish I didn’t have to advise this but I do.
• College campuses have a lot of cool perks and events. Follow the university and student association twitter accounts or whatever you can to stay up to date.
• Whenever you feel like everything is going wrong, check to see if you’ve been saying your prayers and reading your scriptures every day. Weirdly they correlate.
• Respect the people you date. Be honest about your feelings and intentions. Don’t manipulate, don’t lead them on, don’t string them along.
• You don’t have to stick to the first major you declare. Wait as long as possible to declare your major, talk with several people ~in that major and the advisers, and don’t be afraid to switch if it doesn’t feel right. Make sure you always understand the real-world implications of your degree (jobs, salaries, profession climate, etc.).
• Families are amazing. But you need to move beyond yours to become something more. You know that quote about doing the same things you always do getting you the same results they’ve always given you? It’s like that. Don’t forget about your family. Keep them updated. Make time for them when you can. But it’s hard to become more than the image they see in you if you are home hanging out with them every single weekend. If that makes sense?
• Make friends with at least one person in each of your classes. That way you have someone to give you the notes when you’re gone, someone to study with, and someone to be on your inevitable stupid group project team.
• In the morning before class or work is actually a great, distraction-free time to get studying and homework done.
• You don’t have to go on a mission, and don’t let anyone make you feel like you have to. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you are making the wrong decision by going on a mission either. You do you, and don’t worry about anyone else.
• Concerts really aren’t that fun. If it’s your ABSOLUTE FAVORITE BAND, maybe. But mostly it’s sweaty, drunk, high, obnoxious people loudly singing and jumping on your feet.
• “Ovaries before brovaries. Uteruses before duderuses.” – Leslie Knope. Make female friends and put them first. Boys come and go. Boys break your heart and treat you poorly and fake being cool until they’re sure you’ll stick around. (Until it’s THE boy, of course.) But good female friends can last you a lifetime. Stick up for girls; invest time in your female friendships. You won’t regret it.
• Above all, always remember that there is life beyond college. Think about it. Think about what you want that life to look like. Think about your job, your brain, your social life, your body, your spirit, your family, your finances. What do you want them to look like? Then make sure your college experience is reflecting that life. Don’t party all the time and expect to be a smart, employable professional. Don’t shut yourself in the library and expect to have a colorful life with polished social skills. Remember that one day you will graduate and move on from college, but the person you are in college doesn’t disappear.

That just kept getting longer, didn’t it? Turns out I have a lot of feelings about college and coming-of-age. It’s a big, scary, amazing, wonderful world out there. And I’m so excited for Taryn to go out and conquer it.