Mostly this year I’m just going to try to remember my Word of 2016: Queen. That’s what’s really important to me, because it encompasses a lot of things, a lot of circumstances, a lot of attitudes I want to emulate this year. But that’s not gonna stop me from making a stupid list of things I’d like to try!

Look at those sleepy pre-church eyes.

New Year New Hair New Me #basic

I’m ranking these by excitement level – most excited to least excited, but in general I think I did much better this year at writing resolutions which I TRULY WANT and have a real concept of completing, rather than just generic crap that sounds good. If there’s one thing I’ve learned this year it’s that everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, needs to be personalized if it’s going to work. Diets, exercise, style, shopping, social media, reading, parenting, friendship, scripture study, church attendance, marriage. Everything you are supposed to work for should work for you, otherwise it’s never going to happen.

Sure it sounds great to do something awesome that you saw someone else do. But if you’re never actually going to do it, does it really matter? Wouldn’t it be better to accomplish at least a piece or a version of it, even if it’s not exactly the same? Yeah. Especially if you can enjoy the journey AND the destination by making it YOURS. That’s something I’ve really been struck with this year. And hence, this weird collection of resolutions:

• Read at least 3 books a month! I can do this! I totally can! And I’m so excited! I’ve got my underused Orem City Library card, the corresponding Overdrive account for ebooks and audiobooks, and a fully stocked Goodreads “Want-to-Read” shelf (be my friend!!!). I’ll be co-hosting and participating in Bon’s Book Club all year, and reading the Delicious Read’s book club books. Reading is renewal, and it makes me smarter, happier, and all-around better. It’s also something I’m firmly committed to pass on to my children.
• Blog better. This one is perhaps too abstract, but I did at least commit to blogging 3x a week. I probably won’t hit it all of the time, but I think it’s already so good for me. I love writing; I love blogging. I have so so many ideas, but I often feel I need special occasion to post. That’s dumb.  Now I have a real deal blog calendar (ok, ok, it was actually a $1 Star Wars calendar from the Target One Spot, but I love it) and I’m scheduling posts in advance like I suppose real bloggers do. No more flying by the seat of my pants. I want to write more frequently and more quality stuff. I have a lot of ideas and things I want to do with this blog, and I would like to hear feedback from you guys too. It may include some growth, advertising, and maybe sponsorships but I promise to you all that I WON’T SELL OUT. Unless it’s for something really great, like a date with Harrison Ford.
• Meditation. This one is probably the weirdest, but I’m already 4/4 on it (I started this week on Monday)!!! I think probably all Type-A people feel this way, but I have unfortunately trained my brain to multitask and go 80 mph and it’s stupid and it sucks. Not to mention that weirdo anxiety/insomnia I thought I had conquered? It came back with a vengeance in December. My guru Danica Rugg always speaks so highly of meditation, so I decided that would probably be the right thing for me to try. I’m using Headspace and doing their super n00b entry-level meditation stuff, but I’m liking it and already feeling more zen. I wake up before Reese and do it first thing in the morning to set a good tone for my day.
• Eliminate negativity. I’m placing this one squarely in the middle because I’m alternately stoked and terrified about it. Something at which The Beard is great and I am terrible, is editing. If he doesn’t like someone or something, or if he doesn’t want to do something then BYE FELICIA. Sometimes it’s problematic, but for the most part it is MORE problematic for me to have negativity in my life and allow it to continue. It’s MY life. And I want it to feel good. If something makes me feel bad or weird or less than? BYE FELICIA. (Hey in internet slang this means “don’t let the door hit ya on the way out” basically.) If someone sucks? I don’t have to be their friend. I don’t have to spend time with them or invite them to stuff or even follow them on social media. I’m still a little uncomfortable here with this, but I’m also uncomfortable with the amount of negative feelings that come from people and things in my life that are totally within my control. This means shaving down my social media feed (read this perfect post by my friend Melissa), basically swearing off Facebook except for Harry Potter Book Club and blogging purposes, staying away from people and groups that make me feel sad or hurt or weird, and prioritizing my time like a QUEEN.
• Drink more water. Ugh. So lame. So basic. But I’ve got my cute S’Well bottle from my best friend, lidded plastic cups in every room of my house, and cracked lips that simply must go.
• Reese’s Schedule. She is just the chillest baby. We’ve really never figured out a schedule for her, and she’s never really needed one. When she’s hungry I feed her. When she’s fussy I put her down for a nap. It’s not really her that needs the schedule – it’s me. I need a schedule for my freelance, blogging, chores, exercise and all these other things I want to do. Too many times I’ve tried to work with her as a little tornado in my office, and too many times I’ve been surprised when what I thought was a cat nap snuggle turns into a 3 hour monster nap where I can’t move. Ok, where I don’t WANT to move. I by no means want to be handcuffed by a routine where we don’t do things we want in the name of getting her to bed by a certain time on the dot, or refusing to leave the house during nap time. I’ve raised a flexible baby and I want her to stay that way – it’s best for all of us! I just want a more general, predictable schedule. We’re working on it by trying to wake her up at a similar time each day, monitoring her alertness during the day, and tracking basic things like her hunger, diapers, naps, and bedtimes.
• Lose 10 pounds. Yes, those same 10 pounds I was hoping to lose by my sister’s wedding, but didn’t. It’s not that I’m not excited by this one, or dreading it. It’s just not as high on the priority list. I’ve got my workout regimen that’s working for me, a flexible diet that feels healthy but unrestrictive which I use on occasion, and a commitment to more water. I’m not going to force this one, or set a specific deadline, because for weight loss that just doesn’t work for me. I’m gonna live healthier and I’m hoping to keep this on the back burner and achieve it this year. I know it sounds vague, and it is. But it will work for me this way.
• Recommit to my calling and scripture study. Now, it’s not fair to have this as my least-excited resolution. I am excited about scripture study, which is going to include more journaling. I’m just going to struggle with it the most. And I’m often overwhelmed and sick of my calling – I’m still learning how to deal with 10 year olds, and The Beard teaches at the same time which means the Reese tornado is in my lessons, too. It’s kind of a disaster, but I’m going to recommit and try harder. Somehow. Idk.

I am excited for 2016. Everyone’s been posting about how much they hated 2015, and it makes me so sad. I loved 2015 so, so much. And I feel more equipped to face 2016 than any other year of my life. I can do these resolutions, and more importantly I WANT to do these resolutions. And that, you see, makes all the difference.