It’s the bees knees, you guys. I love it so much. I have felt so incredibly lucky to get this time with my baby. (And I love you working moms, too! I’m so glad you get to work and do and create AND mom. You’re awesome! And we’re all good moms!)

The only problem was my frenemy – unstructured, unscheduled time. It’s been funny and helpful to see other friends (Brooke and Tayler) sharing these same experiences lately and now I feel qualified to join them. It wasn’t until September that I really started to feel like I had this Stay At Home Mom thing figured out. It was a 7 month learning curve which laziness derailed at every possible moment.

After the early mornings and highly structured schedule of teacher life, suddenly there was nothing but a fluid schedule of eating, sleeping, snuggles and diapers. There was almost nothing time-sensitive in my world, so I relished in late mornings, aimless cuddles with Netflix marathons, random lunches and Target trips, and occasionally doing frenzied work on my masters thesis.

It was soooooooooooo fun! And it was sooooooooooooo bad for me!

I would sit down with my beloved planner, looking at a blank week. Sometimes the only thing I could ink in was church on Sunday. Every other day just sat there, white and expectant, staring. And it started to freak me out. It wasn’t that I didn’t have things to do, or goals or worthwhile activities. In fact, I probably had TOO MUCH that I wanted to do. I’m the queen of lists, especially unfinished lists.

It was just that every time I tried to decide which day I would clean the kitchen or get groceries or plan my primary lesson or give myself a manicure or go to Zumba or have lunch with a girlfriend… I was paralyzed. “How about Tuesday? Well, but, what if my anxiety is really ba that night and I’m exhausted and need to sleep in? What if my sister-in-law calls me for lunch? What if Reese is being extra cute and I just wanna play with her? What if what if what if…?”

I remember being a teacher and daydreaming about full days with nothing planned where I could get EVERYTHING DONE!!! Joke was on me – I now faced these blank days and was so paralyzed by possibility that I got almost nothing done.

Now, I wouldn’t trade those days cuddling with Reese and watching a full season of the Office for ANYTHING. But it just became time. I saw my unpainted nails, the dressers I bought and haven’t yet assembled, the numbers on the scale that plateaued (?), and to-d0 list items that had been unchecked for months. I just felt BAD. I’m better than this. I can accomplish so much more than this. I decided I would take no more excuses from myself.

And then me and Reese got that disgusting stomach bug and didn’t leave the couch for 48 hours. Nothing got done, but the time was mentally very helpful for me. I thought and reflected and listed and planned. And everything started to fall into place.

My masters program finished and I graduated

I got a freelance writing gig with regular deadlines

Reese started sleeping through the night IN HER OWN ROOM and now takes a monster nap in the afternoon.

Brooke got engaged (YAY!!!!) and set a date for her wedding – November 21 – so I finally had a weight loss goal and deadline that was truly motivating!

We literally found black mold on a bathroom rug so I wanted to puke and scrub my entire house and die of embarrassment/disgust.

NOPE. No more of this. Why can’t I make my own weekly schedule? It’s clear I need structure and I need to provide it for myself – AND stick to it.

So I started, where else? with a list. I laid out everything I wanted to do weekly: chores, errands, fitness, beauty, fun, working, blogging, family, church. Then I started to sort. Some things were easy – the garbage has to go out on Sunday nights. Friday would be the best day to actually curl my hair, wear a planned outfit and take outfit pics because we usually do date night. Eventually the easy ones were done and I still had a big list of random things that could be any day, so I had to start making executive decisions. I knew my fitness plan included Zumba twice a week, but Zumba classes were every day. Finally I just decided – “OK. Zumba on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 10:30. Bam.” And I kept going until EVERYTHING – right down to grocery day and washing my hair – was planned.

Like, if you ever get a look at my planner you’re going to call the cops because I’m a psychopath. But its been working! I don’t get everything done every day, but I’m getting a lot more done than before. I mean, look! I got ready and took outfit pics! They are from literally weeks ago, but better late than never?

Because of course I take outfit photos with my baby

Look at her expression omg

Top: Cotton On, Jeggings: F21, Shoes: DSW

Fun story about me: My nickname on my junior high basketball team was T-Rex because we once measured our wingspan (which is supposed to be roughly the same as your height, apparently?) and my wingspan was almost 3 inches shorter than my 5’4″ height. I frequently have to get out of my car to reach into a drive-thru and cute blouses like this one hit me squarely on the wrist looking super cool super good super stylish.

Anyways here’s to hoping this schedule continues to work for me, and more blog posts and outfit photos in the future! Also text me. I have a schedule I’d love to write your name into!