+ Everyone thinks they deserve more credit for the jobs they do. And you know what? They probably do.

+ One day I’m gonna have to talk to my daughter about this stupid “Charlie Charlie” internet challenge, Ouija boards, all kinds of stupid and scary crap and it kind of makes me want to run away forever

+ I cannot wait for “The Big Movie” to figure out the deal with the Loch Ness monster, Bigfoot, all that stuff. What happened with the dinosaurs? How do they fit into the Creation?

+ I try to sleep when my baby sleeps as much as possible, not because I’m exhausted – but because otherwise I just want to wake her up because I miss her.

+ How is it possible to have a friend that you LOVE SO MUCH but then hate someone they love? Sometimes it’s their spouse or their best friend or their brother but like how is that mathematically possible?

+ I FREAKING LOVE MINDY KALING AND CANNOT WAIT FOR HER NEW BOOK

+ Families have this crazy ability to be the most excited and happy for you, but also to remember you intimately as your very worst version of yourself.

+ I actually think I’m the most comfortable I’ve ever been in my body, even if it still looks pretty weird and I still have 10 lbs to go to my pre-pregnancy weight. How’s that for confusing?

+ Is Reese going to complain about me one day like my students complained about their moms? The way we complain about our moms? The way our moms complain about their moms?

+ I am so confused and unsettled on the issue of gay marriage

+ Today I heard the song “Low” and realized how long it’s been since I was 18 years old and dripping sweat at the Sweethearts Dance at the Art Museum

+ Sometimes it feels just SO GOOD to let people fall out of your life. When I complain or scoff or roll my eyes about a person in my life The Beard is always like “Why do you follow them?” “Why do you HAVE to talk to her? Why?!” and I realize… I don’t! Being an adult means being polite, yes, but also being in control of who you let in the front door of your life.

+ I still can’t like The Bachelorette no matter how hard I try. I want to like it. I want to watch it will all my twitter peeps and girlfriends. Can’t.

+ The Beard is insistent that he will not travel to Europe and I want to go back so badly. It makes me so sad when I think about it.

+ When does the Orem Chipotle open? NOT SOON ENOUGH

+ Whenever someone “copies” something I do (ok are we in 3rd grade? Calm down, Danica.) I like to act bugged or bemused or patronizing but in reality I’m always super flattered. In reality it’s all pointless because that person didn’t think of me for one second before making that choice.

+ Are we gonna be ok? I think we’re gonna be ok. All of us.