I was so scared to start 2014. I didn’t even really write any resolutions because my hopes and expectations were pretty low. 2013 had kicked my trash. 2012, too. I felt very little control and almost no direction. Then 2014 was fantastic! So I think I can safely write and share some resolutions this year.

Here’s the problem: Baby Holdy. And of course I don’t mean problem. Just… how to you set resolutions when you are gonna be saddled with a newborn in thirty-something days? How can you even predict what things will be like? No amount of Pinteresting articles, not “The 53 Things You Need To Know About The First Week Home With A Newborn!” or “Surviving the First Year!,” no books or way-too-personal experiences shared by friends and family can predict what MY experience will be. I’ve spent more time with a newborn this week (below) than I have in my entire life. I’ve never been truly unemployed before – even during my summers I was busy and getting paychecks.

Sup, Ruby Fin?! My new bestie! Do we look like we could be parents? Because in that moment, holding my best friend’s perfect, adorable baby I was more excited and terrified than at any other point in my pregnancy. Again, SO grateful that my best friend is going through this with and slightly before me!

I really wanted to do my Happiness Project again, but one focus per month for the entire year. I just really want to give it my all, and I can’t commit to it fully in good conscience right now, not knowing who I will even be in a few months. Maybe IF and WHEN I figure my life out I can implement it again. Instead I kept my resolutions pretty generic, after scouring Pinterest printables of course. My New Years board is pretty boss, if I do say so myself.

2015 I am so excited for you!! I can really do these things and what’s more – I WANT to do these things. I’m printing out the highlights, putting them in a frame and hanging them in my bathroom next to my mirror where I can see them every single day. Because 2015 is going to be incredible and I don’t want it to fly by too quickly.

Continue to:

• Read, read, read. {Printing out this booklist and finally getting my Orem City Library card this week! Bring it!}
• Grow my blog. I wrote up a list of 10-15 ideas for expanding and updating my blog for when the itch strikes.
• Improve church activity. This year we did so much better! I am not sure what my church attendance will look like with a winter newborn, but I’ve learned so much and even come to like Primary a bit. Can you believe it?!

Try: DIY/Crafting. Thinking of starting a monthly ladies craft group? Pick a simple craft each time and eat yummy treats while we make it together? It just seems more fun and doable if I promise myself companionship and treats.

Stop: SWEARING. I already broke this like 15x yesterday. I just have a potty mouth, you guys. Not the hard stuff, just the usual basics, you know? I’m going to try baby steps by first just cutting out the swearing around other people – The Beard doesn’t count.

Visit:

• A new state
• A new ballpark
• A new temple

Get Better at: Cooking. I guess I should flesh this out in order for it to be real, but I don’t know. I’m winging it.

Habit to Make: Leave a room better than you found it. Probably The Beard’s biggest pet peeve about me is turning every space I enter into my personal workspace. Our kitchen table, living room ottomans, the arm of the couch… all are simply desktops for my laptops, notebooks, planners, graded papers, books, magazines, nail polish, etc. I leave popcorn kernels and scattered salt on the counter every time I make fresh air pop because I’M JUST TOO EXCITED TO EAT IT TO WASTE TIME WIPING UP!!! Stop it, Danica.

Skill to Master: French Macarons. Third year’s the charm? My first 2015 attempt is tonight – wish me luck. Lord beer me strength.

Person to Be Like: I have so many awesome role models in my life, but the first person who came to mind was Danica Rugg. She’s just IT, man. She’s a great mom, which means more and more to me with each passing day as I face the daunting lifelong task of motherhood. She loves her family, immediate and extended, so fiercely. It’s obvious where her priorities lie. She’s smart, well-read and has a sharp wit. Probably the most influential though is how permeating her testimony is as part of her identity. It’s just part of who she is, and I know that’s how I should be. She weaves it into her blog, her social media, her conversations. But not in a self-righteous or superficial way. It’s always relevant and always piercing. I want the Gospel to be that integrated into my personality. It’s no surprise she’s such a great mom, sister, daughter, blogger and friend.

Good Deed: I am going to focus on compliments and thank you notes. Compliments just mean the WORLD to me. Last week a girl stopped me in the grocery store to tell me I was the “cutest pregnant girl ever” and she loved my style. I’ve been walking on sunshine ever since! It took her 2 seconds and maybe a little bit of bravery but for this whale of an uncomfortable pregnant girl it meant EVERYTHING. I took some time to write solid thank you notes to my friends for coming to my friend baby shower a few weeks ago. It made me feel like a million bucks and reminded me how lucky I am to have these awesome people. Plus my friends enjoyed it! Win-Win!

Family Goals

• Get Baby Girl here and keep her alive (LOL but seriously)
• Make The Beard a priority. We’re both very independent, but this has often meant that he’s second to school, homework, Harry Potter Book Club, sisters, girlfriends, blogging, The Office, Glen Coco and now he’ll have to compete with Baby Girl! He’s so patient with me and never demanding of my time or attention. I need to work harder to make him my #1.

Health Goal: Get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I’m aiming for a healthy 130-135 lbs by the end of the year, although my wedding weight of 120 would be an ideal goal. LOLZ at that. Also we’re going to Disneyland in June and I’d like to have worked up some good endurance by then and look not-gross.

Career Goal: Finish my Masters Degree. Figuring out what to DO with it is optional.

Financial Goal: Eliminate all debt by March and begin saving to eventually become homeowners!

Spiritual Goal: Prayer. Meaningful AUDIBLE prayers from me and at least one family prayer together each day.

Personal Goal: REALLY, for REAL, FINALLY start writing that book. I’ve reached out to a few people I know about forming a writer’s support group. If you are at all interested please hit me up!

As I review these, I have crazy deja-vu. But isn’t that why we set resolutions? They’re to change and fix and improve our deepest problems and insecurities, so of course they may stay the same for years on end. Who even knows what this year will look like, but I know for sure it’s going to stretch and test me, to reward and bless me, like no year has before.

May this optimism last me through the very painful return to school next week. I’m glad it’s only for 13 days, but that also makes them more precious, painful and poignant. Lord beer me strength.