I pretty much instantly started gaining weight, and you know what? It didn’t bother me at all. Maybe it was having an excuse for it, I don’t know. I was cool with it! I knew how hard my body was working – because GEEZ why else would I be that tired from sitting all day? – so I took it real easy on myself. See ya later slim-fit Gap trousers. Sorry, sexy underwire bra! So long, form-fitting peplum!!! (HELLO BURGERS AND FRIES EVERY DAY)

And now I kind of love the gain! Now it’s less my chest and thighs, every pound is showing up in my protruding bump! This babe is growing, healthy and strong! It is just so freaking amazing, you know? It’s 2014. We are 3D printing body parts and curing cancer with HIV and fixing vision with LASERS. But it still takes a woman 9 months to grow a human baby. We are the only thing that can do that, and I’M DOING IT!

Still. I am vain. I am worldly. I am a product of 2014 and the fashion magazines I read. My belly brushes papers off kids’ desks when I turn corners (yes, seriously). Watching me go from a lying to seated to standing position is probably hilarious or pitiful. Actually both. Last week the number on the scale at the doctor’s office was pretty scary, and random pics that have been snapped of me lately don’t look so “cute!”

I find myself looking at outfits, fitness instagram accounts, women around me and thinking “Ah I’m excited for when I can get my body back to normal.” or “I’m excited to have the jump-start to great weight loss when I can start losing the baby weight!” or “I’m gonna look skinny and muscled like these girls once I’m not pregnant!” It’s kind of disgusting to have those thoughts while pregnant. But at the same time I do love my body and want to take care of it – I’m excited to get healthy and fit again. But at the same time I know it’s gonna take me FOREVER to lose the weight, and I might never lose all of it or reach my goals because of popcorn and will power. BUT AT THE SAME TIME UGHHHHH

And I’m not even that big yet! I still have 2.5 months to go! (Hitting 30 this week!)

Taking advantage of the big gym mirrors and all black outfit to document dat bump!

So instead of many short, repetitive gratitude posts I decided to focus mine on what is truly very important to me right now – my body. It’s taken such good care of me. It’s taking such good care of my baby. At 29 weeks my baby has had no complications or concerns. I’ve been sore and tired and heartburn-y, but I’m healthy. I’m working full time, exercising and still able to meet *most* of my responsibilities and expectations.

Can I just tell you something? Nothing makes me feel more like a BOSS then walking around Gold’s Gym 6 months pregnant. No matter what I do, people are impressed. I could do 2 bicep curls with a 5 lb weight and people would still come up to me and be like “Wow you’re still working out?!” “You’re awesome!” “Way to go!” “You are so cute!” LOLZ because my energy level is roughly one notch above a comatose patient and my endurance is next to nothing. I can do about a 30 minute walk, sometimes with a few small jogging intervals. I can lift about 80% as much as before, and tire much faster. Because of my pelvic pain I can’t do squats, lunges, bike, elliptical or most leg exercises. I can barely touch my toes.

So why am I working out? Part of it is my vanity – I love hearing how awesome I am, and I love feeling like I am doing SOMETHING about my expansion… Part of it is my sanity – working out has always been therapeutic and fun for me, even now. But it’s more than just that.

My body is doing SO much for me and Baby Holdy. God has given it to me. I HAVE to take care of it. I have to keep it as healthy and strong as possible – for me, for Baby Holdy, for delivery and for everything that will come next. I am so grateful for my body it brings tears to my eyes. I’m going to get huge. I may not be able to do much more than walk come February. I’ll look gross and take a long time to get back to “normal.” I’ll be living at the corner of Stretch Mark Avenue and Cellulite Lane.

But gosh darn it if I’m not just so proud of this body for working hard and doing its job. Thank you, Heavenly Father. Thank you, body. And thank you, Baby Holdy – for helping me adjust my view of my body from something vain and visual to something powerful, useful and eternal.

Can’t wait to stuff it with some mashed ‘tatoes and turkey this week. (wink!)