I feel like my life is kind of gross right now. That’s the dominate adjective of my vocabulary at this point in time. And its not even pregnancy-exclusive! Last night I took a nice long shower, used a first-world amount of beauty products, wore my nice real pajamas (as opposed to the Star Wars tees I usually rock) and I EVEN FLOSSED just in an attempt to feel like my life was less gross and more chic. When in doubt, use beauty products. I felt a little better.

When my alarm went off at 5:25 am (GROSS) imagine my surprise at finding an unidentified selfie, sent to me by an anonymous party at 3:03 am. Confusion. Disbelief. Then gratitude as I realized “well, at least this is a girl and she’s fully clothed.” Potential grossness avoided, because when you hear about a selfie sent at 3 am generally I’m guessing those are probably nudes. Either way, this situation is gross. And I’m not one to pass up a teaching moment. Not even concerned about posting her number because girl wasn’t concerned about texting ME at 3 am.

What else is gross in my life?

+I drank a fresh can of Diet Coke at 9 pm last night. I can’t help that it tastes better at night. I also can’t help that I lay awake and then had psycho dreams because of it.

+Waking up at 5:25 am every day. Even the weekends now, without fail. Ugh.

+Going to bed at 9 pm. And wanting to go to bed at 8.

+Being RAVENOUS at 6 am

+Green smoothies at 6 am

+Spilling green smoothies in your car at 7 am

+My jiggling body as I try to play Just Dance (but I’m so proud of it anyway! It’s making a baby!)

+Glen Coco pooping in my bathroom while I’m sleeping

+Making eye contact with a kid as he aggressively picks his nose in the back row

+The number of McDonald’s bags in my garbage can

+Stretchmarks. More from McDonald’s than pregnancy, probably.

+Choking on giant prenatal pills

+The 2 hour unstoppable nosebleed yesterday

+The number of Once Upon A Time episodes I’ve watched in the last week

Awesome things that make up for the grossness

Manicures and dinner with Katie during a rough week

Glen Coco cuddles – When my alarm goes off he nuzzles into my neck or arms like “Noooo mammmmm stayyyyy.” It’s awesome/awful. He used to follow me into the bathroom and sleep in my closet while I got ready in the mornings. Now he just stays in bed with The Beard and peeks out at me like this when I leave.

We bought a stroller/carseat! The carseat got here yesterday so obvs we tested it out on our “baby.” Not a fan. He’ll probably be even less excited when we practice with the stroller coming today.

Here’s to hoping this week – with The Beard’s birthday celebrations and our Fall Favorite Things Party (text me if you want an invite!) – ends in a less gross way.