I love when time proves me right. For years I’ve been less-than-a-fan of professional athletes – for the most part. I enjoy watching professional sports. I enjoy attending sports events. I enjoy when the athletes are in funny commercials, on reality TV shows or viral YouTube videos.

Beyond that, I kind of hate professional athletes. For years I’ve watched games with The Beard, exclaiming:

“He’s a douchebag!”

“He cheated on his super hot wife, right?”

“Isn’t that the guy who did that awful thing?”

“Wait so why is he playing in the Superbowl if he murdered someone?”

You know. The usual things you say watching a professional sports event.

Sometimes The Beard argued with me, or would defend them in some way. Most of the time he’d just say “Haha yeah…” and then wait for me to stop shouting about it so he could hear the game. If it was about steroid users in baseball he’d sometimes get as worked up as I did.

The last several weeks, even months, though, the arguments have stopped. The shouting hasn’t. The more I watch SportsCenter, read the news, follow the pop culture updates on these pseudo-celebrities the more shouting and angry tweeting I do. And the more The Beard has had to agree with me. Where a few years ago I might have sounded like a bitter woman, concerned more with their social lives than relevant athletic skill, it is becoming more and more apparent that I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG. MOST OF THESE GUYS ARE DOUCHEBAGS. THE SETUP OF THE WHOLE SYSTEM IS TOXIC. WE REWARD THEM FOR THEIR MOMENTARY, TEMPORARY SKILL AND OVERLOOK THE CANKERED MORALITY THAT IS LONG TERM AND DESTRUCTIVE.

Ray Rice’s domestic abuse was a lightning rod. I am happy to see the NFL starting to move in the right direction by inflicting harsher punishments, deactivating players under investigation, hopefully expecting more of their players. Amen to the thoughts of ESPN’s Hannah Storm:

But the double standard for athletes has gone on way too long. Too many DUIs. Too many sexual assaults. Too many violent acts. Too many terrible people being protected or cushioned because they run a great 40.

Why am I so pissed?

I’m pissed as a woman, who believes that no man should ever touch any woman in a way she doesn’t welcome.

I’m pissed as a citizen, who follows the laws and firmly believes they are for our benefit and protection.

I’m pissed as a teacher, who works so hard to do meaningful, life-changing things for kids as these garbage human beings make at least 50x more than me (EVEN IF THEY GET INJURED AND PLAY 1 GAME THAT SEASON).

I’m pissed as a college graduate, who studied and worked, learning valuable and marketable skills which will benefit society for the duration of my life, not just a few years or until I tear a key muscle.

I’m pissed as an advocate for youth, who watches students walk through my door wearing jersey and listens to them talk about games, contracts, the cars these athletes drive. Cringing as they tell friends and teachers that they’re gonna be professional athletes one day – because why wouldn’t you want to be?! School doesn’t really matter. If you’re good enough they’ll pay your tuition and you’ll never need to get a real job.

I’m pissed as a soon-to-be mother, who fears for her child in a world where men will hide one another’s abuse, mistakes, crimes – but only if they’re good enough with some sort of ball. Where a get-out-of-jail-free card may not be literal, but figurative versions seem to exist in the form of iconic numbers and season trophies.

I’m pissed that Goodell has a job. I’m pissed that baseball players are still using steroids. I’m pissed that Lebron James didn’t go to college, and that many college athletes are given a free pass through their university experience, doing no work but on the field/court (and yes, I did see this firsthand at BYU). I’m pissed that DUIs, domestic violence, sexual assault and otherwise unsportsmanlike conduct is a headline for a day, a slap on the wrist and then business as usual for ESPN.

I’m pissed that there are people defending Ray Rice. I’m pissed that I have to have this conversation with my students.

Mostly I’m pissed that these men have no idea what role models and symbols they are, or could be. And I’m pissed that I’m so scared nothing will really change.

I hope the NFL, NBA, MLB and all other professional sports organizations will continue to move in the right direction, preferably quickly and with some force. I have faith that they CAN make a change for their athletes, if they realize their importance.

In the meantime we HAVE to hold professional athletes to a higher standard, and discuss these problems with our kids/youth. Kids, teens, and FAR, FAR TOO MANY adults need to understand that what Ray Rice did, what Adrian Peterson MIGHT have done, what Alex Rodriguez allegedly did – these things are so wrong, so inappropriate, so illegal.

If I can lower my voice and censor my word use enough to talk about this with a bunch of teenagers, hopefully you can too.