I, Danica Anne Holdaway, as a pregnant blogger, do swear and promise to the following and will henceforth be known as “I” or “Jedi Momma.”

This is the literal worst. We as humanity should be ashamed. 

I promise not to write or post pics about gross, graphic, personal, or otherwise inappropriate things happening to me and/or my body during this process of pregnancy.

I promise not to post pictures of my bare, stretch-marked baby bump at any time. Sorry Jessica Simpson. {sidebar: I can’t pretend I don’t see him grabbing her bum. SEE? There is no NORMAL way to take a picture like this!!!}

Same goes for nursing or otherwise shirtless post-delivery bonding pics (adorable & touching- I will definitely take some, not to be shared).

I promise not to share ultrasounds with my tiny baby’s junk highlighted. It’s still their junk, and they are an actual person, no matter how small or alien-like.

I promise to not become a Stepford Wife Mommy Blogger who only posts about her pregnancy, kid and handicrafts. {They are awesome. They are not me.}

I promise to answer any emails regarding any personal or pregnancy questions that anyone has for me. For real. You guys know me. I’m open and honest to a fault, usually. I’m happy to give you any details you’d like via email, text, anything private. But my dad, in-laws, and several men read this blog so we’re gonna keep those to ourselves, k?

I promise not to complain (to the best of my ability) because this is a miraculous blessing that many women would give anything for, but cannot or have not yet experienced. And I just want this to be a joyful thing for me and my family. My mantra is “enjoy this pregnancy.” Again. To the best of my ability.

I promise to take my calling as a mother more seriously than my passion as a blogger, so if I break any of the aforementioned promises, fall off the blogging map, write substandard content or any other number of blogging offenses I fully expect you to stop reading. Although it will still make me sad. Probably even more sad because I’m all pregnant-emotional.

At the end of the day, I just still want to be me. I’ll still write about the stupid crap I see around Utah County. The social media posts that make me want to take a toaster into the bathtub with me. And the crazy things my kids (students – I’ll need to start clarifying that in a few months – yikes) do, because yes I am still teaching. At least until my little cupcake arrives in February.

I may mix in a few “pregnancy faves” or “Sh*t not to say to a pregnant woman” type posts, but I’ll try to keep those on the minimum. This is awesome and life changing and amazing and sacred. So I want to share it with you all. And also keep a lot of it inside my little family.

I’ll do my best to strike that balance. Stick with me to see how I do. Thanks for reading. Love you all.