I have so much sympathy for Elementary teachers. I can’t imagine having a bunch of young kids, just SO excited that school is almost out and Santa is coming. They’re eating candy, giving and getting presents, trying to keep up with that psycho Elf on the Shelf… tough life.

At the same time, WE DON’T GET RECESS. I can’t tell them Santa is watching! I can’t have them make snowmen out of cotton balls or color a Christmas Tree. We’re not singing Christmas Carols. I’m not getting cute presents from each of my cute little students. I did get a pretty sick Pikachu beanie from one of my girls though.

Instead, this is how this week has gone:

• Our school Google accounts were down on Monday so we had to scramble to revise our lesson plans
• One of my best girls slapped another girl in the lunch room and got suspended. #naughtylist
• One of my boys is very depressed and refuses to take his medication. He is showing lots of weird signs and they keep pulling him in for drug tests. I’m worried about him going home for the break, where he’s largely unsupervised.
• I got homemade goods from two different students, which I’m too scared to eat due to the nut muffin incident of last year (too dirty even for this scandalous blog – text or email me if you haven’t heard it and want to… ugh)
• A smart kid was taking FOREVER on a pretty simple quiz so when I finally said “DUDE what is going on today? You ok?” He says “Well I’m having trouble writing…”

Yeah no $#%@ Sherlock. “What the…”

“No sense getting a new pencil – only a few days left!!” Indeed.

Lord beer me strength.