So there I was, getting SUPER into the Battle of Yorktown. {My kids always laugh at me for getting so into my lessons, but I’ve learned that when I am REALLY excited about something, even faking it, they get really into it as well. Fun fact. Feel free to use that with your kids, Scouts, mechanic}

I’m talking about how the French are really helping us, Rochambeau is just rocking the French fleet and General Cornwallis makes the TERRIBLE decision to park on a peninsula.

“You guys know what a peninsula is, right?… I’m seeing lots of blank stares. Ok, let me show you.”

I quickly sketch a peninsula on the board and a big red X (red for redcoats, get it? get it???) and turn around. I see a few smirks, hear a few giggles and even one of my very best kids with his head down, silently shaking.

“What?” I think to myself, “Is there food in my teeth? Bangs sticking up like crazy? Oh man did I accidentally swear out loud? Let me see if I labeled this correctly…. oh.”

That’s when I realized there’s no way to draw a peninsula without making it look like a penis.

Go ahead. Try it. I’m serious. And I’m also very sorry.

I almost included a picture in this post but it would be WILDLY INAPPROPRIATE and I’m pretty sure my mother-in-law sometimes reads this.

And did anyone else notice that the WORDS actually look and sound a little too much alike? Makes me uncomfortable.

And don’t think the irony is lost on me that now I’M the one drawing penises in my classroom. How am I not aware after cleaning so many of them off my desks??

How do you recover? How do you even handle that? Two years of teaching and I definitely don’t have that skill set. Hey, BYU why didn’t you think to include that in your mostly useless curriculum??

“Ohhh. Ha. Ok well that’s… weird. Let’s just… erase it,” *frantically erases amidst giggles and blushing* “… and move on. Okkkkk the point is that Cornwallis is trapped, so” and on I went.

Lessons I Learned from this Lesson I Prepared:

1. There is simply no way to draw a peninsula that won’t look like male junk. I’m sorry. It’s awkward for all of us. I just want you to know in case you’re ever in this situation.
2. The faster you just accept the mistake, correct it and move on FIRMLY the faster they will too. I think they were just as relieved as I was when we got back to Cornwallis.
3. If and when you do something completely awful and embarrassing like this, the world keeps spinning, you write it in a blog post and share it with the world. Someone will smile and laugh at it. Then you will only feel about 80% as stupid as before.
4. If you get really into something, you’re really trying and you completely faceplant but the people around you are positively affected, even for a second, it’s all worth it. You think those kids are ever gonna forget Yorktown? You bet your privates they won’t.

On the bright side, if I ever become some sort of delinquent, I think I have a pretty promising career as a vandal.