My brilliant sister Brooke came up with this idea for a blog post and it might be the best idea that has ever been idea-ed.

For those of you who don’t know what a Horcrux is… kill yourselves. And you’ll die because you don’t have a Horcrux. But seriously, GET THE HELL OFF MY BLOG AND GO READ EVERY HP BOOK BECAUSE HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITHOUT READING THEM.

I spent a good deal of time thinking about what my Horcruxes would be, if I was the sort of witch to use dark magic. A Horcrux needs to have deep meaning to you, but also be easy to store and protect. They need to have lasting significance to your life, because you’re going to house a part of your SOUL in it!

#1. Glen Coco. If Voldemort can use Nagini, I can use Glen Coco. Although this really is a risk, as Glen Coco doesn’t understand the concept of roads, cars, danger, etc. Stay away from my dog, Neville.

#2. The Beard’s Beard. Like anyone would be able to get close enough to damage his beard. Please. I can barely get him to trim it. Do your worst.

#3. The Office Season 2 DVDs. These are the most watched, most loved thing of my entire life. The case is also stained with a Diet Coke cup ring and falling apart. No one will go after it. Seems fitting.

#4. George Washington’s Tricorn Hat. Voldemort used items from powerful people like Rowena Ravenclaw and Salazar Slytherin. As my historical crush and the greatest president ever, I have to have something of his – preferably his iconic hat. Obviously I could use magic to recover and restore this item, then gently place the history-loving part of my soul inside.

#5. First Base on the Springville Red Devil Softball Field. I spent so much time on and near this thing, magic or not, part of my soul is there anyway. As well as my sweat and lingering curse words. Those were the days.

#6. My Grandma’s Opal Necklace. Voldemort used  so many jewels and treasure items, I figured I need one. Next to my wedding ring (way too obvious for a Horcrux, come on), this necklace, made from one of my grandma’s opals after she died and given to me on my wedding day, is my most prized piece of jewelry.

And the seventh piece lies in my body…. BUT WAIT

Sneak Attack #7. Steve Carell. Voldemort accidentally created a human seventh Horcrux in a moment of trauma. The most traumatic moment of the past several years for me was saying goodbye to Michael Scott. Its probable that a piece of my soul went with him, forever.

What would your Horcruxes be? Blog and link back here to share!